How should i know? whats good and whats bad? i mean, after all, i am just human.
it feels like one day, i know everything there is to know about myself. two days later, im discovering a new part of me. so then how in the living world, should i know what is best for me? "oh but, you know yourself best" "just follow your heart" "let go and follow the curse of life". thanks. such amazing advice. i am the kindest yet meanest person i know. i dont know whether it scares me or impress me. i want to be good, i know i am good. i just happen to want to burn children alive. not out of hate, nor spite. just recreationally.
maybe i just need maddddd help. or perhaps im a fucking genius too. lol.
the ying yag symbol has always intrigued me. ever since i was young. the idea of balance, of good in bad and of bad in good, just really lightened up the way i viewed humanity. i wish more people could understand the meaning behind it. ive been trying to apply it to my everyday life for years. it is hard af. i just get so angry at life for the dumbest reasons. i am impatient. i also probably lack a bit of empathy regarding others. i dont think that really has the power to make me a bad person, does it?
calm and kind people creep me out. like,, how do you do it? do you not want to yeet someone's face onto a brick wall sometimes? for walking too slow? or just for breathing your air? children. old people. middle aged people... AHHHH FAWK. maybe i just dont like people. or most of them at least ;)
i feel ive just talked a bunch about the bad. i promise i have some good too. as i said before, i dont really care about people at all, whether they cry from sad or happy tears, but when i meet someone that makes my skin cripple, i'd kill for them.
