Emotions

The Cold Clenches of the Reaper Known as Love

Have you ever sat in a room and thought about your past?

Like how much different it would be if certain things had last?

Or if something hadn't ended the way it had?

All I can think about is my senior year.

I loved that girl to death but it's like the vibe disappeared.

She broke my heart twice and I was left in tears

Now it's closed because of the fear.

You ever had where the level of y'all love wasn't the same

Now you're hiding in the dark in shame.

Because they've done moved on,

but you still dealing with the stress

So now you act happy on the outside

but your heart is in distress

And you don't want to complain because it has been some months

So you're left alone with your thoughts

and it really sucks

All the memories just take over your brain

Even in your dreams they invade a space that's supposed to be safe

They consume your mind and they won't get out the way

Now you're missing them every day

And even though you want to vent,

you act fake

Because you know your friends will notice the change

But when try to explain they don't understand

They say get over it,

Its been forever

you will find another them

But you ain't never felt love on such a deep level

One that makes you want to make them smile no matter what's the trouble

One that no matter how much you want to hate them

you can't

Because your heart won't listen to you

it made up its mind and it won't recant

So you're sitting there wanting them in your arms

Imagining scenarios you wished had happened before

Then the pain sets in

and your brain becomes black, emotional madness

With your heart shredded,

blood dripping from your chest,

with the pieces leaving a trail on the pavement.

You lay on your bed listening to music you don't even like

But you hope the vibrations from the screaming

will compress the pain for a little bit of time

But it only lasts for the moment until it's time to turn it off

And after a few minutes of peace the bell of torture calls

And you're wishing y'all would've made it

Wishing they felt the same

Even though logic tells you y'all are complete opposites

The happiness would never stay

They say listen to your heart

but your heart is trying to kill you,

It won't listen to common sense

it's saying fuck you

They say the pain all hits you at once

then it slowly resides

But my pain is a river blocked by a dam that slowly crumbles with the tides

And every time a new stream sprouts

it's a stab to my soul

I'm waiting for it to flood and just swallow me whole.

So you're left sitting in the corner of your dark room

Staring at a window

watching the light beam through,

Your tears dried up on the floor next to a razor you couldn't bring yourself to use.

And they call you dramatic and too sensitive because they don't know the deal

The pain

the anguish

you asking yourself

why me

why is it so real?