I kick around at the autumn leaves, lost in thought. The bitter wind nips at my cheeks, whispering rumors of winter. I look around at my surroundings. Truly, it was beautiful. The trees around me stretched for miles, seemingly. The leaves of differing colors, brittle and at the end of their life span, shake and slowly fall to the ground. The darkness makes it hard to navigate where I'm going, and I don't care. In fact, the last thing I cared about was where I ended up. I seemed to have lost my care long ago. People tried to help; family, friends, even teachers. However, it didn't matter. Help wasn't what I needed. What I did need, though, is unclear. I was missing a piece and I did not know what that piece was.
The brutal wind kisses my nose and cheeks, causing me to hold myself and let a shiver pass through my body. I walk under the bridge on the road, and look at the graffiti that young teens painted to express themselves. It was beautiful to see some people are able to express themselves in more ways than with pills and razor blades. I run my fingers over the spray paint and admire the beauty of the art of artists who would never be recognized. I walk along, gazing at more of the artwork. I stop when one piece catches my eye. It was a large heart. Within it, the words were painted: "Love will find its way." That's when something inside me snapped. Memories flooded into my mind, as if the dam of a barrier I had built up to repress the memories suddenly broke down and now there was no stop to the incoming memories. Memories of us together. Homecoming, countless dates, your priceless smile, the way you cocked your head to the side when confused, the way you laughed at even the littlest things. The way the words 'I love you', followed by my name, sounded on your tounge. Perhaps the most vivid memory is the one of losing you.
I can't take it.
I begin to scream at the top of my lungs, asking why you had to go, since you left without saying why. I scream all the words that were on my mind since you've been gone. I begin to run, not knowing where to go, but away from here, because it is here where I've been looking for this missing piece of me and this missing piece was you and you are unattainable. And suddenly, there in the middle of the street, I stop. And just like the leaves of autumn, I shiver and fall to the ground, violently shaking, letting tears fall down my face, wondering why.
Why?
Then suddenly, I don't care. I don't care about you, me, or anything.
And the last thing I see are the bright headlights of an oncoming car. The last thing I feel, is a smile grow on my face.
