Dear Mister,
As much as I'd love to reveal your name, I am still afraid that you might find me. I've been writing letters for you for two consecutive years. Though I never planned to send you those. Every letter I composed is filled with the truth. It was all in my view, and I dont't like to admit that I want to hear your side too.
We had a wonderful beginning, I must say. There have been no chance of me thinking that you would be this close to my heart. I never imagined liking you either. You were beyond my imagination. We live in two different sides of the world. I was always the nobody. And you? You were standing under the limelight. Even though you were into the crowd, I couldn't seem to notice you as a matter of fact. I didn't care about you. I have no interest on you. Before. Because now, you are the thing that occupies 1/2 of my mind and my heart. We can never be certain about the future. That's why I did not see this one coming. I did not see you coming into my life.
You are a beautiful piece of art. You may have flaws but then that completes your personality. You made me hate the idea of liking someone like you; but still you managed to make me love someone like you. I saw your dark sides, I saw your bright sides. I hated many things about you. I hate the way you boast. I hate the way you talk to others. I hate the way you catch attentions of many girls. Ugh. I hate it. Sometimes, oh scratch that, most of the time you are gago. I dont even know why I continued liking you. Maybe you were really that special. Maybe you made a big impact to my life that went straight to my heart.
I want to say that we were both happy. But what if I just assumed things? Deep down I know you are. I knew you felt the same, somehow. I want to think that you and I had a chance. But pictures of you and her flashes in my mind everytime. Mister, why? Why are you in such a rush? Why are you running after relationships? Why couldnt you be more patient? I was here first. Or am I too late? I know she's pretty and all. Why were you too eager to have a woman? If only you stayed for long. Maybe we have happened. We could have happened.
We are the exact epitome of almost. We were almost there. I know you've been in the situation where you didn't know who you really liked between me and her. I wish you stayed longer. Maybe then we're happening now. Maybe then we have us today.
It sucks feeling this way, Mister. Until now you have no clue that a girl is silently looking at you from afar. You have no clue that someone is hurting when she sees the way you adore some other girl. Sana hindi ka na lang nagmadali. Sana ako yung ngayon mo. Sana may tayo ngayon. Sana ako yung babaeng pinagmamalaki mo. Sana ako yung mahal mo.
Do you know how much it kills me when you're talking about her? I've been loving you for two years already. So many things happened in those two years. Andun yung akala ko wala na, pero nung nilapitan mo ko, bumalik lahat. Nasayang yung pagmomove on ko ng dalawang buwan. Do you also know that just by looking at you hurts me a lot? I mean literally. It feels like my heart is being burned by a boiling water. I dont know why it hurts. Maybe because I never got the chance to tell you how I really feel. I don't want to do that. It hurts my ego. Really.
Never in my life have I thought of liking someone who is already committed to other girl. I wanted to blame you. I wanted to blame myself as well. But thinking about everything that happened, maybe I should be blaming the two of us. We came at the wrong time. And you were the wrong person to love back then. I wasnt able to stop myself. I cant avoid you. How the hell will I do that?! Araw araw kitang kasama e. I was in a hopeless case. I knew it was wrong all along.
"Falling for someone who's already taken? Wth. That's stupid!" That is what I keep on saying whenever I see someone liking a person who is already in a relationship. But when I experienced it myself, i learned that it was fucking hard. It's difficult to hide your feelings from someone who happens to be your friend. It's difficult to accept the fact that you can only be friends when you know to yourself that you almost had the chance to be lovers. It's difficult to pretend that you are not affected. When in reality you just want to scream at his face yelling, "FUCK YOU!!!! I AM ALWAYS HERE FROM THE START WHY CANT YOU NOTICE ME?? I WAS HERE FIRST DAMN YOU!!!!!" But you can't because something might change. Your friendship might be damaged. Worst, you may lose him forever.
I miss you so much. But now i can only be happy for the both of you. Are you still together?
I wish you knew my feelings for you. I am missing you.
Mister, Where art thou?
Forever yours,
Mia
---
Jace
I found this piece of paper looking like it was ripped off from a notebook since it has parallel lines and all that sht. Nakaupo kasi ako dito sa stone bench sa may garden ng school. May rock kasi na parang na detach sa mismong bench causing it to fall on my feet and may parang butas sa bench. There I saw this weird letter.
The handwriting looks familiar tho. It's the same as the penmanship of the girl I used to love. Well...used? I dont know. Creepy pero we have the same experience nitong babaeng nagsulat nitong letter. Parang ako yung guy. I loved two girls at the same time. Ang landi ko. Pero I have reasons. And later on, I realized that I loved the other girl. The one who came at the wrong time. Kaso too late na ko. Bigla kasi siyang nawala. I felt nothing but regret nung time na yun. Sobra. At ang sakit din kasi alam kong imposible na kaming magkita pa. If only I could turn back time. If only she came at the right time. I will always choose her. I will always pick her. Kaso tanga ako. Immature pa nung time na yun. Now? 4 years na ang nakalipas simula nung umalis sya. 4 years ko na rin syang di nakikita. I want to see her. I miss her so much. Marionne Ivy Ajello, i wish you knew my feelings for you.
Iiwan ko na sana itong letter na to and ibabalik sa butas kaso putanginang hangin. Nilipad yung paper. Hay. Tumayo pa tuloy ako at hinabol yung papel.
Oh woah. What the f----------?
Tumaob yung paper. I mean yung back part yung nakalabas.
May doodle pala sa likod nung letter.
Wait.
What. The. Fuck.
If I'm not mistaken, I think I drew this thing on her notebook.
*************************
End.
<3
