Sonic Oneshots (Mephilver mostly)

Tell me how to breathe

SH warning.

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The ultimate life form watched as the cut on his arm formed for only a short moment before the wound closed. His unnatural healing capabilities only prove how he was made to be the ultimate life form... something he wishes he wasn't.

The ebony hedgehog sighed, head dropping into his hands as he continued to rot in his sadness.

Shadow learned a lot during his adventures and teachings by others. One of them was self-harm, he had thought it to be ridiculous at first. Though, here he was sitting on his bed with a knife.

It didn't matter. His body was strong, and artificial, making it hard to cause any damage to himself that would make him feel something.

He heard that sometimes people who self-harm find satisfaction in it, a way to release their emotions or just to feel.

Shadow could understand now, his own emotions nearly choking him by how much he bottled them inside. It was insufferable, it was bothersome and most of all... it was painful.

How much he held back a cry, how he held it together only to breakdown later, how he pretends he's strong when he's actually weak.

It felt so painful.

Even in the moments he finds himself forgetting the suffering he's faced and enjoying life... he finds himself wanting- no, needing more. It isn't enough to fill the emptiness he feels inside his heart.

He has friends. He has Sonic.

And a part of him feels selfish that he craves more than what they give him. Why?

It swirls in his mind, what else could there possibly be? He's loved... he knows that logically but even so, he finds himself slumping to the floor and sobbing as his heart screams how he isn't loved by anyone.

Why is it so hard to feel loved?

Each action, each word, he over analyzes. Going across them until it's practically engraved in his mind. When people say they love him... it's nice but, he watches as their actions hurt him and he can't help but feel as though they're lying.

It stings, stabbing him repeatedly metaphorically.

And even though it hurts and he feels as though he deserves more... the other half of him disagrees, saying he's selfish and stupid for being this way.

He has so much already, more than he's ever had, so... why isn't it enough already? Will it ever be enough? Maybe he should just die, if only he could, such a bitter thought.

The familiar feelings of his throat choking up and his mind growing dizzy made Shadow lay down, putting the knife away and placing a hand over his face.

He cried with frustration and hurt.