If I Lay Here

Take My Hand

July, 8 months ago (16 years old)

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I sat in the hospital room holding my head in my hands, it's been about twenty-four mintues since the doctor last checked up on everything. With a steady heart rate Em's been holding up.

What happened two hours before this, that I heard, is that Zach.. Em's ex. Was outside of her car when she got done at work. "He was aiming to kill her," said a bystander. "but I shouted at the man and while he jumped he pulled the trigger and shot her lower stomach. " The person called 9-1-1 in the right amount of time, if they waited long enough Em wouldn't be laying here.

It's still a scary sight, she's hooked up to all of these machines, wires coming out of every where. I've never been in the ICU before, actually never been in a hosptial before. She looks ghostly, every few mintues Em's eyebrows and fingers would twitch, I didn't think much of it, she's just moving a bit, and that's a sign I like to see, knowing she's alive.

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I woke up to the constant beeping of Em's heart monitor, it wasn't right though because her heart rate is rocketing up, she started to freak out, her body flinging and bouncing into twisted directions, then it came to me, she's seziuring out. I began to panic and started to grab her hand, that's when the RT and doctor came and pushed me out of the way. A giant blood stain started to show in the belly of her gown, with all the sudden movements her wound opened up.

As mintues passed the room began to fill up with more and more RT's and doctors, I was told to stand outside of the room. I did as I was told, I stood outside looking through the glass that shown into her room. After six minutes of trying to slove the problem, she hit a flat line. Em's parents came rushing into the ICU, the sound made her mom burst into tears. Then me. They brought out the defibrillator trying to revive Em.

"1-2-3- CLEAR" the doctor began to get frustrated, that didn't cause a spike in her heart rate. Still flat. "Again!" He shouted at the nurse who began to power up the machine again.

"1-2-3" still no sign. "One more, one more, I am not going to give up!"

"1-2-3" ... Nothing, nothing happened. The tears began to weld up in my eyes ten times worse. "EM?!!" "EMILY?!? YOU CAN'T GIVE UP NOW!" by now more and more of the people began to leave the room. The same doctor still wasn't giving up, still the last man in the room. The three of us began to make our way into the room. The doctor still repeatedly giving Em CPR. This is the worse thing I have ever seen, my best friend's limp body just being pounded on to be brought back to life. A woman with a clip board came into the room and told Mr. and Mrs. Morris that she will turn the ventalator off when they want. Death time is 2:03 a.m. Being told that Mrs. Morris's cries got even louder and you can Tell Mr. Morris is trying to be strong for his wife. I went over to Emily's body giving her one last hug, in my head I tried to tell myself that this is all a bad dream, but I need to face reality.

After staying in the room for what seemed a life time, I gave Mr. And Mrs. Morris a hug and then left to go home. I feel bad for both of them, that was their only child, and she's gone, just like that. On the way home I stopped at the park and sat on the swings for a good hour and then jumped back into my car and drove the rest of the way home.

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Two weeks later they set up the mass and funeral, everyone in black standing around a giant hole in the ground. My eyes stung, they began to lower her casket into the ground, the got a white one, so they had her friends sign it, it's something Em would want, she's the creative kind of person. The casket was soon out of sight and everyone began to leave to their cars.

That was the last time I ever seen the Morris's. That's when I refused reality.