My life

Short story

I was a loving kid, I was never really treated like my siblings because I didn't need attention and I was always a quiet kid. But as I got older, more hate came into my life, more fights with parents and siblings. Everything became more difficult, I could understand why I wasn't treated like my siblings. I could understand why everyone was always fixated on putting me down. When I was 14, I could understand all of this perfectly. My sister still calls me fat to this day. I talked and ate less. Fear set in, I started stuttering. I have several anxieties. I met someone once when I was 14. I didn't want to meet anyone because I had previously been in contact with a boy who then said that his cousin would be better for me and persuaded his cousin to write to me. I was traumatized. But my cousin told me that he was a good guy to me and that he wasn't like that. (He was my cousin's cousin) He wrote to me. At first I just wanted him as a distraction, but then my feelings changed. Exactly what I was afraid of. We met at a party, we knew we'd see each other there. We talked a lot until my cousin said we had to go home. I did not want to go. I wanted to keep talking to him. Forget everything around me, get closer to him. Tell him everything because I thought he would understand me. At some point we saw each other again, at the wedding of my cousin's brother. We were alone most of the time. I told him about the guy because I was afraid he would do it too... kidding me. He assured me that he wasn't like that. He texted me every day saying how much he loved me. He told me that I can take as much time as I need, he would wait. He told me how happy he was to meet me but that changed quickly and it was all my fault. I've heard from several people that he's reconnected with his ex. My best friend told me to discuss this with him, so I did. I felt bad that day and didn't go to school. I'm just starting to trust him and I hear things like that. I was angry so I texted him in a very hurtful way. He took it like I didn't trust him, but I apologized again for my behavior. But then he always canceled our meetings, went out with his friends that same day and then let me see it, didn't write to me anymore, etc. My cousin had to write him, so he can even tell me how he feels now. Since I didn't know any other way, he told me that it just wasn't possible and that he didn't get along with me. The only person who showed me his love for me so strongly left me alone. My life just sucked, I realized how much I was hated by my own life, I was back in my hole. Alone. Nobody helped me.