This chapter will be short... again but it is dedicated towards me being a complete non socialite.
I don't socialise very well, i mean i have friends and they mean absolutely EVERYTHING to me. They know me so well and they understand me, i am very lucky to have these people in my life and i will never take their friendship for granted.
When it comes to making friends though i either don't do it because i'm kind of shy face to face or i just go in with too much force because im that nervous and i kind of end up looking like a complete freak so people avoid me. Yeah... i'm cool.
I have never had one solid friendship group i have always been based in around three different groups at a time, some people would say ' oh so you're popular' but no. In no way am i popular, i might have lots of different friendship groups but there is no way i am a key component in any of them really.
I find it hard to put my trust in people, which anyone who has read 'behind closed doors' will notice i encorporated that into Ariannas character because it's realistic and i can work with it because i understand it.
I find it hard to trust people because i have been let down so many times before i cant even count and the pain that it brings with it actually does hurt and it's something that i don't particularly like encountering so i try my best to avoid it.
This can actually lead to feeling very lonely... have you ever felt alone in a room full of people? Because i have and let me tell you if you havent, you don't want to. It's not nice.
I know who my true friends are and i met them a long time ago, i rarely make new friends that i will let into the same mind space as my best friends because it terrifies me, like seriously. I have never told anyone this before but it really does.
I meet people here on Wattpad and i have become really close with one particular user, she is a good friend now and i do trust her which is strange because it's abnormal for me to let people in that easy but the fact that we will most likely never meet probably plays a huge factor in that.
The thing about socialising is, some people are good at it and others.... suck. That's me.
I believe that socialising is learnt from a young age and due to the life i have had, i have rarely found time to socialise and so i now find it difficult, which can be hard at this age because communication is key.
I know it's a pointless chapter but there you have it... i am not very sociable in person!
