The letter

Mentions of suicide. If this is a trigger, DON'T read.

Spencer stares at his name written in cursive on the front of the cream coloured envelope, tears springing to his eyes as he pictures her hand sprawling across the pages of this envelope, writing her final words to him just hours, maybe minutes before she had had enough and slit her own wrists in her bed.

"You can read that anytime, you don't have to read it today, you can read it tomorrow, next week or even in a year from now." His boss says.

He looks at Hotch with tear filled eyes.

"Why would she kill herself?" He asks his boss. He hears his boss sigh as Hotch looks at him.

"I don't know why she would kill herself, Reid." Hotch says softly, Reid doesn't say anything as he leaves Hotch's office with the letter in his hands. He walks to the bullpen and ignores the looks of his colleagues as he sits down at his desk, locking the letter in his desk, ignoring it and the last words his mother wrote to him before her final moments.

1 year later

He paws through the drawer in his desk looking for the letter he locked away in here a year ago. It's been a year since Hotch told him that his mother, Diana Reid, killed herself by slitting her wrists with a paperclip she had spent months sharpening but had written him a letter, as if the words on the page could make up for her leaving him in such a way.

His fingers find the envelope. He picks it up, closes the drawer and walks up the catwalk to Hotch's empty office.

He sits on the vacant couch, his mothers final words clutched in his hands.

He opens the letter and lets his eyes scan the page, his brain reading the words. It's a short letter but it's a perfect letter.

Spencer,

My darling boy, you've always been a special boy.

I'm so proud of you, I know you still feel guilty about Institutionalising me when you were 18 but you mustn't feel guilty anymore because you did the right thing, you did what your heart was telling you instead of listening to your brain.

I want you to promise me that you'll continue using your heart and not your head. Let your team become your new family.

I love you and I'm so proud of you.

Love always and forever,

Mom.

Spencer sniffles and looks at the office door when he senses a presence watching over him.

Hotch.

"You finally read it then?" The Unit Chief says as he joins Spencer on his office couch. Spence nods and hands Hotch the letter to read himself.

"She's right, you know: you do need to use your head more." Hotch says as he hands the letter back to the young genius who puts it back in the envelope and in his jacket pocket.

"Come on, the briefing started ten minutes ago." His boss says as the two agents leave the office to the conference room.

A/N: I've felt really sad all day so this is a little dark, enjoy.