Feeling small a Josh ramsay/ Matt webb one shot! JATT

I am bending over the toilet in my basement, completely private which makes it a great place to throw up all these demons that make me feel sooo fat! Maybe, I should exercise a lot while purging maybe that will make me lose weight faster? I stood up and stare in the mirror, looking back at the person I hate. I can't remember the last time I ate a full meal without throwing it up a few minutes later. I weigh around 135 pounds and I'm soooo fat even though everyone says i'm skinny. I cant eat anything with shoving my hands down my throat. Do you know what its like to feel ugly all the time?

I heard knocking at my door. "Occupied!" I yell, I just want enough time to examine all my scars from cutting myself earlier today. "It's me, Matt" I hear Matt's voice, he sounds very concerned. Matt has been the reason I have these scars, I have around ten on my left arm. I am in love with my best friend, band mate. I know he's straight and he will never see me more than a friend. He is the cutest thing I have ever seen. I reach for the door knob with my skinny, boney hand.

I open to see Matt's beautiful face, he has grown facial hair since I last saw him. He looked like he has been crying, what's wrong? His hand reach out to touch my slightly sunken in cheeks, Matt had a strange look on his face. "What do you want, Matty?" I said, rejecting his hand even though I would've liked it if he stroked my cheek all the time. " I know what your doing Josh, and I really want you to stop." He said in a stern voice as he grabbed my chin when I reject his soft touch. I try to pull away from his strong grip but, I am too weak. shit! "Leave me alone." I said as tears formed in my eyes. "No! Your my best friend, I don't want to lose you!" Matt said as he forced me to get closer to him. "Let me go, Matt! it hurts" I say as I start to become afraid of him. Matt has never acted this way, let alone with me. "I know how you feel about me Josh" Matt said while making me stare directly into his chocolate-brown eyes. "How?" I say slightly scared of how he feels about me. Was he in love with me too? no, he can't, who would be in love with a pale, boney boy like me? He was much more attractive than me. I can't leave the house without putting on like, ten pounds of guy-liner to make me look a little bit better. I have medium length brown hair, I really want to dye it black and blue. But, then my mother and father would freak out at me. As if they would freak out if I dye my hair, they still don't know I do heroin. Nobody knows I do drugs, except for Matt.

"Josh, I think I love you too" Matt says pulling my face closer to his again. He loves me? that can't be true! i'm dreaming. I didn't say anything back because of the shock. "Josh, I have been in love with you ever since I saw you in band. You were the most gorgeous person I have ever seen" Matt says as his lips slightly brush over mine. I lean in, and I kissed him back with such passion. It looked like a strange romance movie, A tall boy on the floor with his handsome, shorter best friend kissing him. It was soo cheesy that you could become lactose intolerant just by looking at us. I didn't care, I was kissing the man I have been lusting over for years. Matt removed his lips from mine and leaned his forehead against mine, "I will be so good to you, Josh"

That was my first really serious one shot! I found it easier to write this cause I know what Josh went through!! did you guys enjoy it??