Touch the Clouds (Harry Potter)

Reach for the Clouds

Clouds —no matter how high he flew, he could never reach them, fingers always outstretched as if to catch a golden snitch. Yet, the clouds were always just out of reach.

...

Regulus didn 't know where the urge to touch clouds came from beyond the fact he'd always found himself reaching for the sky for something he couldn't reach even before he'd taken up Quidditch—perhaps that urge to touch the sky was why he'd taken on Slughorn's suggestion of trying out, and the head of Slytherin likely suggested that Regulus try out for Quidditch when he saw the young Black's eyes light up at the sight of the Slytherin and Gryffindor teams touching the sky as they played.

Orion Arcturus Black knew, remembering the first time his youngest reached for the clouds. There 'd not yet been much thought towards the future of the youngest family member beyond the understanding that Regulus was different, having silently come into the world, an unexpected joy. And he'd remained silent, always watching the world with wide eyes so characteristic of most members of the House of Black.

He watched tiny fingers reach for the fluffy white cloud outside the window, silently curious as his father explained that it was a cloud. And silence, the window pane between the young child and the fluffy white cloud.

There wasn 't anything between Regulus and the clouds while the small boy lay next to his older brother in the grass at their grandfather's estate, reaching for the fluffy white clouds while Sirius spouted off everything he thought the clouds looked like while Regulus frowned, confusion on his tiny face. "I don't see it."

"You don't see the dragon?"

"Where are the scales?"

"It's a cloud dragon, so it doesn't need scales."

"That doesn't make sense, Siri. Why can't you enjoy watching the clouds."

"Ever wonder what they feel like?"

"Soft?" Regulus asked. "Has anyone ever touched a cloud before?"

"Probably?" Sirius said. "I mean, we're wizards, so they must have flown a broom up there to touch them, right?"

"Right," Regulus said, keeping his hand outstretched.

And then, Sirius left for Hogwarts, leaving the youngest looking up at the clouds again, trying to reach for them.

...

He wanted to touch them, to feel what the cloud felt like, to ignore everything else that was going on in his head, around him. And he tried to overlook the mark on his arm and the confusion that came with it. And so he flew.

...

What he thought when he first decided to follow his younger brother that day, Sirius didn 't remember. It was likely to tease his younger brother, to take whatever was currently frustrating him out on the younger Black, which perhaps, in turn, turned into a matter of curiosity to know what his brother was doing.

Regulus shouldn 't have been flying his broom side saddle, which was an odd thing to see, particularly in this day and age, and he saw the younger Black reaching for a cloud. His brother, startled, turned his head as if suddenly realizing Sirius was there and looked into Sirius' eyes for once. There was a pain in those eyes, a look that screamed a level of emptiness he'd never thought he'd see in his brother's eyes, always having expected the same dark coldness rather than what was an empty indifference, a blankness that he couldn't fathom.

And then Regulus slipped from his broom, falling, his hand still reaching up towards the clouds.

"Oh shit!"

Sirius put his broom into a dive, his hand reaching out, his fingers going to entwine with Regulus '; panic set in, his mind not understanding the feelings rushing through his head. He felt his fingers intertwining with Regulus, his mind not knowing how he'd save his younger brother from his stupidity, that he was losing him, even though he felt that way.

And then—

Sirius wasn 't sure what had happened.

There was definite pain and the dampness from the crass soaking into his robes, or perhaps it was the dampness of blood. He turned his head, seeing his younger brother there, eyes closed, his left arm in a strange position, and Sirius screamed. He yelled as loud as he could, sitting up to nudge his younger brother, trying to wake him up. "Regulus. Regulus, wake up. What," before he turned his head to yell. "Somebody! Help!"

...

He chased clouds but never could touch them. His eyes flickered open. The clouds were way above, and when he tried lifting his arm to reach for them—

Regulus found he couldn 't. Something was wrong, beyond the fact, there was pain there, but he soon saw the ceiling of the castle hallways as if he were being carried somewhere and then Sirius' face almost in his own, which was one of the most disturbing things.