Waluigi (and Wario) x Reader Oneshots

Waluigi x Assassin! GN! [Oh (Y/n)]

A/n: Requested by @That_Snek_21

(Y/n) loved their job as an assassin. They got to do what they do best, stabbing bigots. Of course there are other things they do to their targets but stabbing is the most fun.

The only thing (Y/n) loved more than shooting their targets was their lovely boyfriend Waluigi.

The two first met when (Y/n) was tasked to shoot and kill some Toad at a tennis competition. Once (Y/n) was done with the kill they felt a chaotic presence and turned around to see the purple clad man staring down at the body.

(Y/n) had raised their gun to the underside of Waluigi’s chin when his eyes narrowed and he growled. “What’cha doin’?”

“I’m doing my job numbskull,” (Y/n) had said.

Waluigi scoffed and twirled his tennis racket, “Killin’ a Toad? I'm pretty sure that's murder.”

“I’m an assassin,” (Y/n) said.

Waluigi stopped twirling his racket and he pinned (Y/n) to the wall, “And I’m the master of mischief. Waluigi’s the name.”

(Y/n) was heating up from the movements of the stranger, his intrigued gaze trained on their eyes. “I’m (Y/n). Not that you need to know.”

Waluigi turned away to the sound of voices then looked back at (Y/n), “I’ll distract them and you get rid of the body.”

(Y/n) was confused at his actions, there was much to his character.

Ever since that day (Y/n) would see him out in public with his best friend Wario and the two heroes of the Mushroom Kingdom. Eventually (Y/n) built the courage to ask him why he helped them, all he said was that he likes a bit of chaos.

And that was it. (Y/n) was his. A true power couple. The most feared assassin in the Mushroom Kingdom and the most overpowered and chaotic man in the Kingdom. Perfect soulmates.

«Γ»

(Y/n) returns to their shared house with Waluigi and Wario. It was better than going around living in different houses for each job, now (Y/n) had a home to return to. The house was dark. (Y/n) assumed that Waluigi was sleeping as Wario was off at his job in Diamond City.

(Y/n) enters the dining room to see a romantic dinner lit by candles. (Y/n) smiles and puts their hands over their heart, they look eagerly for their boyfriend in the darkness.
“Heya my little assassin,” Waluigi’s voice says from behind (Y/n).

(Y/n) turns around to see Waluigi dressed up and holding a guitar.

“Well… This is certainly romantic Wally,” (Y/n) blushes, “What’s the guitar for?”

“Oh. I just wrote you a little song~”

(Y/n) giggles and smiles, “You’re too adorable.”
Waluigi grins, “Not as adorable as you.” He ruffles (Y/n)’s hair and gives them a kiss on the forehead. “Go on and have a seat. The show’s about to start.”

(Y/n) fixes their hair and takes a seat on one of the chairs at the dining table.

Waluigi clears his throat and strums his guitar. “Oh what a thrill when the crimson starts to spill.”

He looks over lovingly at (Y/n), “And my (Y/n) goes in for the kill.”

(Y/n) feels all warm and fuzzy as he continues to sing.

“They take away my breath, they’re the angel of death, for me.”

“Oh (Y/n)~” he steps closer to (Y/n).

“They’re my (queen/king) it’s like a dream, when I hear their victims start to scream.”

“In and out of the sack, they’re the manic for me.”

“Oh (Y/n)~”

“When the blood starts dripping down the walls.”

“Drip drip drip.” (Y/n) starts to sing along.

“And the bodies start to fall.”

“BLOOD!”

“My heart skips a beat, when my (Y/n)’s guns are blazing in the heat.”

“Bang bang bang!”

“My assassin love, they make murdering fun, for me. Of all the fungi in town, it’s for them that I fell oh (Y/n).”

The two lean in for a kiss but a giggle startles them.

Waluigi whips around to see Wario holding a camera.

“ARE YOU FUCKING FILMING US RIGHT NOW?!”