The Fists Of Five

Butthole Chris McLean...

I ride a bmx down the fuckin metal stairs, through the train yard and into the streets of Downtown Wawanakwa. Looking for Vengeance! I come to a skidding stop in front of my destination. Three eighteen year olds are loitering in front of a dingy auto shop. All long hair bitches claiming to be rebels.

I look at them. A black kid with a droopy afro, an asian with a man bun, and some white kid puffing a cigarette.

"What?" Yells the black kid.

"Screw off, ya fuckin freak."

The white boy tells me, but I remain put. He shrugs and walks towards me and tosses his finished cigarette at me face, I don't even flinch.

"I said 'go.'." He walks back to his butt buddies, but he turns back and sees me - confusing and angering him. He kicks a chunk of ice, hitting the bike.

"Get the fuck outta here!" I drop the bike and I grab the ice, walking over to the dicks. I proceed to throw it at one of the shops two windows, breaking it and scaring the eighteen year olds.

"What the fuck?!" The asian yells out, while the white kid calls me an asshole.

It's not his fucking window... Then a man in a bathrobe and stained sweatpants comes out, all pissed. He looks around all angry.

"Hey! Who did that?!

Who the fuck did that?!" The assholes all point to me and the man looks at me, completely confused and livid.

"You?" He asks all confused. He shakes it off, quickly makes his way over to me.

I remain calm and still, while he grabs me by my shoulders.

"Break my window, you bitch, huh?! Break my window?!" He pushes me to the sidewalk.

"Why don't you answer me, you little bitch?!

He slaps me hard, forcing my head to turn a bit.

"Answer me!" I turn my head back to him and spit in his face.

"What the fuck...?" He kicks me in the lower torse, causing me to fall onto the piled snow and he gets on top of me and drives a right hook into my face, followed with a closed backhand.

I feel blood coming from my nose and mouth. I hear those three bitches laugh and cheer. The man continues to whale on me with more punches, he lands two more before he stops with a punch in the center of my chest, causing me to cough out the pool of blood from my mouth. He takes a breath before ending the beating with the same two punches he started out with. He pushes himself off of me and walks back a bit.

Seems to winded himself out.

"Get the fuck outta here, before I fuckin ya." He says between gasps. I sit up, a bit hurt. I crack my neck and rise, walking past the three dipshits beating that random bike up and towards the man.

He's hunched over, catching his breath. That's the way I sometimes go for - tiring an opponent out. Sometimes... I grab another ice chunk and throw it at the other window, breaking it. The man turns to me, looking at me with a look of utter defeat.

"Man! What the fuck?" Only this time, it's more of a defeated and bummed tone. I walk through the wanna-bes and I spit my blood on the snow and walk off. Leaving them all confused on what just happened.

I go to a convenient store three blocks away and wash off the blood from my face, buy myself a Slim Jim and go home. I am walking down a bridge a few feet from my house when I see my dickheaded landlord, Hernandez walking his dog.

"Hey boy! Come here!" Ugh.

I get to the bottom and pay him no mind, just heading straight.

"Hey, you hear me, boy? I wanna talk to you." I raise my Slim Jim.