เพียงเสี้ยวสัมผัส | Just A Fraction of Touch (Eng Trans.)

06: Two Broken Man

If I can turn back time,

The thing that I will change,

Is not to fall in love with you.

***

It was his past mistake.

During... the semester break of his senior year in October.

'Don't...! Don't...' the thin figure curling up on the bed cried out his refusal. His fair skin was covered by kiss marks and traces of near-intercourse in the milky white stains on his slender legs and the sheets of the bed. The person with a bigger build between the lovers was shaken. Tears flooded his unblemished face.

Jin was the only one... that New wanted to always smile.

'Jin...' New whimpered his lover's name 'Are you... afraid...?'

The person in front of him didn't answer, only holding his own body tighter... without denying that question.

Jin was afraid to have sex with him...

... Afraid to have sex with his own boyfriend.

Although Jin didn't say it out loud nor give any response, yet the gestures expressed instead of words were the answer. He always showed his fear of New touching his body without realizing whenever they were by themselves. Jin was scared of being penetrated. Afraid of the intense pain from the impact and New's naughty tongue waiting to lick him...

It was too 'much'.

He loved New.

But... their sexual needs were different.

Jin wanted 'love' to be more than 'sex' in bed, while New instead showed 'love' which he wasn't really good at with 'sex' that he was very skilled at...

'Jin is afraid of New, huh...?' he asked again gently, yet there was still no reply from the person underneath him, there were only tears flowing from his eyes instead. A thin hand reached out and touched his face, wanting to console him 'It's okay... New is here.'

Slap!

His hand was harshly swept off of the distrustful face. New just sat still, looking at his hand that had been brushed away and the retreating body escaping to the head of the bed.

He was rejected by Jin... and it wasn't the first time either.

It hurt...

'Disgusting...'

It felt like he was dying over and over again from hearing it.

'S... Sorry, give me some time... give me time...' the scared boy stuttered, 'Jin will be better... but give Jin time...'

Their sexual preferences weren't compatible at all...

They were too 'different'.

No matter how much time he gave... it probably wasn't necessary anyway...

New tried to adjust to Jin. He knew that Jin used to date a girl, and he was the one who 'stole' that person from that girl. When they dated, he got more worried, both regarding sex and love.

For their first time, he let Jin take the lead when it wasn't like him at all. He was willing to be under him and take in the impact of the other penetrating him.