a harsh reality

Xiaoting day

'Ding'

The lift arrived at the first floor. Yujin dragged her luggage into the lift and pressed the floor number of her dorm. Yujin let out a loud sigh as she leaned on the lift wall. Its 11pm, just in time to spent the last hour of the day with Xiaoting to celebrate her birthday together.

While waiting for the lift to arrive at her dorm's floor, she rummaged her backpack, looking for something. When she found it; an A5-sized box wrapped in a gift paper,she brought it closer to her chest and gave it a little light hug.

'I hope she likes it.'

As the lift arrived at the designated level, Yujin rushed to the door of the dorm and carefully opened the door silently, making sure that the birthday girl won't notice in her attempt to surprise the birthday girl.

Slowly and quietly, she carried her luggage inside, then proceeded to tiptoe herself towards the dining room, where the only light that is turned on is at. As she got closer, she started hearing voices echoing in the dining room.

"Stop worrying, I'm really fine as long as I have you!"

"Okay then, I'll trust you. I'll really go now, my manager is calling, I love you!" Yurina hanged up before xiaoting could even respond.

"I- love you too..."

Yujin has always realised it but had always been in denial; the fact that she stands no chance in getting ahold of Xiaoting's heart and that she is just a big sister and a friend to Xiaoting. For the first time, seeing how happy the younger is with her girlfriend, she finally decided to accept the reality. And that she should stop trying for the sake of her love.

Xiaoting jumped at the sudden presence of her unnie. "Happy Birthday, Xiaoting" Yujin said in her soft deep voice while chuckling due to Xiaoting's adorable reaction.

"UNNIEEE" Xiaoting stood up in shock seeing how she didn't expect that she'll finally have a company in the last hour of her birthday. She immediately ran to embrace her leader's presence. Yujin held on to her luggage to keep her balance.

It hurts. The hug felt so warm, but it means nothing more to her other than it being a friendly hug.

Yujin slowly pulled away. The box she was holding was moved to behind her back, hiding it from Xiaoting so she'll never find its existence. Yujin fears that if Xiaoting finds out, it might confuse or affect their relationship in any way.

"Why are you here unnie? Aren't you supposed to be in vacay?"

"I can't leave my member to celebrate alone on her birthday, aren't I a great leader?" Xiaoting giggled at her unnie's antiques. Yujin smiled as she tried to swallow the lump in her throat .

Xiaoting thanked her unnie with puppy eyes while she grabbed the hand yujin was using to hold her luggage and caressed it. Yujin couldn't bare to feel her heart weakening anymore so she avoided their eye contact and slowly pulled away her hand, denying any unnecessary skinship with her.

"I'll go change my clothes first. Wait here I'll make some seaweed soup for you later. Sorry I didn't manage to buy any cake for you" she tried changing the topic to make herself feel less awkward.

"Its okay, I've eaten enough cakes today. Besides, you being here with me is already enough for me" Yujin forced a smile then proceeds to drag herself and her luggage into the room. She immediately closed the door as she entered the room. She leaned on the door and slowly, sliding herself on the door closer to the floor while she grips on the box in her hand. She hugged her legs then rested her face on her knees, tears were flowing down her cheeks suddenly, dripping on her knees. She cried silently.

After a few minutes of shedding tears, she finally gained strength to get back on her feet. Yujin forced herself towards the mini trash can in her room. She stared at it for several seconds blankly before tossing the box in her hand into the bin. Then, she immediately grabbed her towel and proceeded to enter their bathroom to take a shower.

'It's been a year Yujin, it's time to move on.'