A Girl's Turmoil

Chapter 39 - Uplift

With a deep, mellow breath, she dons her usual school uniform in front of her mirror, which light reflected off the window still half-covered by the curtain. Buttoning the serafuku on her chest, she looks at the mirror and introspects herself. Her uniform is well-ironed and neat; however, the expression she wears on her face doesn't contrast nicely with the colors of her uniform. She had noticed how bloodshot her eyes were from her last night's melancholy, but she could care less. She sluggishly walks toward her bag to re-check her books and tools before she grabs her jacket and moves downstairs into the kitchen. Her door was unnoticeably left ajar.

She could smell the sweetness of pancakes from the living room and soon met Nadeshiko and Hanako at the dining table, but their mother was nowhere to be seen. Both sisters expressed surprise at her presence, though doubtful to even say even a little greeting. Sakurako acknowledged them with a slight nod before she joined them at the table. Nadeshiko seemingly wants to ask something. However, she is somewhat hesitant about how she would ask her, so instead, she tells them to pray first, which only she is the only one to say the prayer. They then begin eating while noticing that Sakurako is forcing herself to eat.

As they eat, they hear the front door open and see their mother and Himawari entering the room, although Sakurako doesn't bother to turn her head around. The mother flutters her eyes open wide and places a hand on her chest at the sight of her second daughter. Himawari feels her heart brooding now that Sakurako is now willing to go to school. The mother soon joins at the table while Himawari feels content already to stand beside the second Oomuro daughter.

The mother smiles, though sprinkled with genuine worry. "So.... How was your sleep, honey?"

When she gazes back, her mother is slightly alarmed by her bloodshot eyes, at which Sakurako wordlessly goes back to her food and has now stopped eating. Just the way Sakurako moved just now had her blunette friend holding her shoulder and looking at her face. Still wordless, still unmoving, still gloomy, still frail, still... void. Himawari makes her best to restrain herself from the room to sob at the state of health Sakurako is. The blunette raggedly breathed out from her nasal and asked.

"Are you still weary, Sakurako?"

The second daughter did not reply but rested her back against the chair's post. Her hands now lay frozen on the sides of her plate as her eyes stared slightly above her eldest sister's head. Those red ridden-eyes look as if bored and wish for a new plaything to entertain their pleasure or search for a meaningless significance to fill that empty quota. Sakurako then bows her head, and her mouth opens a little to whisper a question.

"Okaa-chan..., what does death feels like?"

Their eyes turned bewildered at the controversy of her words. With her lips sucked and her hand barely making a fist, she leans a little closer to her dear daughter.

"I can't say. Why do you want to know?"

Sakurako slightly shakes her head. "Forget it."

The mother can only stare at Himawari with a puzzled look.

---

Once Himawari and her daughters left for school, she cleaned up dishes and was about to start cleaning the living room when she remembered the dinner she'd given to Sakurako last night. She moves upstairs toward Sakurako's room and soon spots the door is left ajar. Must've forgotten to close it. She enters the room and frowns at the semi-darkness Sakurako left the room in. She then approaches the desk to find the dinner was left untouched; not even the spoon or fork moved from its position. She would spot the dry stains glued to the desk, which she would assume were her tears.

She was about to pick it up the moment she noticed one of the small lockers across her still had a key in it. It wasn't wise to rummage her own daughter's things, but she couldn't help but satisfy her curiosity. She unlocks that locker, and soon, she covers her agape mouth to discover the same pistol that Sakurako had in her possession a while ago, alongside a couple of magazines unorderly left inside.