Home of Hopes (Caledonia Series #1)

Chapter 24

Chapter 24

Turn

Real quick from being so numb and now I'm in pain. I don't know how sometimes fate turns upside down. I'm here happy all along and I'm just used to his presence, but now his holding another arm. I know I lost my chance. I know it's my turn to be turned.

I wiped my tears as I rest my back on my glass railing. I sighed heavily as the southern wind passed again.

I denied my feelings to him all along. I realized I love him for so long.

Tinakpan ko ang labi ko ng maramdaman ko na lalandas na naman pababa ang mga luha ko. Yumuko pa ako at ayaw ko makalikha ng ingay at baka marinig ako. I don't want my parents and my grandaprents know this one. They will end up just sighing to my decision. Lolo is right. Maybe I realized it but I'm in the end. Regret is in the end.

I closed my eyes and let my tears flow. My body is trembling of what I did. My body runs some sticky sweats and I can't understand what the water coming inside.

Isang matigas na bagay ang kinuha ko mula sa bulsa ko. Tininggala ko ito na para bang ito na lang ang natatanging pag-asa ko. Humikbi pa ako ng makita ang pagbagsak niya ng tinutulak ko siya palayo. Tumayo ako nang matuwid at huminga ng malalim habang nakapikit. Nang mapakalma ang aking katawan ay mabilis akong kumilos para iwala ang bakas ng luha sa aking mukha. Lumiko ako at ngayon ay tininggala ang buwan habang siya lang mag-isa. Sinuri ko ang palagid at ang layo ng mga bituin sa kanya. Pinatong ko ang aking siko sa glass railing at tiningnan ang bagay na simbolo ng kanyang pag-ibig sa akin.

"Nasaan ka na? M-Mahal na kita. Pinipili na kita...pero nasa piling ka na ng iba" I let my words blown by the wind. Slowly my tears are falling down.

"I let myself lose you, Paul. And you're right I am in the end."

Kinagat ko ang labi ko habang namumuo na naman ang mga luha sa aking mga mata. I closed my eyes and let it flow again. Hindi ko alam kung pang-ilan ko na itong luha. Kanina pa ako ganito no'ng umalis ako sa pakikinig sa kanila.

I opened my eyes when the wind woke me up from reality. Like the wind, he is just passing by my life. I don't know what I've done so wrong; all I know was just being numb or rude sometimes. But I didn't mean it. It was just like that.

"I love you...but how can you hear those words from me when you're holding and kissing another girl?"

Mabilis na dumaloy ang pait sa aking katawan. Dahan-dahan akong tuminggala sa buwan at binalik kaagad sa lupa dahil hindi ko yata kayang makita pa ang sikat ng buwan kung tuwing titingin ako rito ay tusok lang ang aataki sa akin. I closed my eyes once more...like I'm wishing that this was just a nightmare.

I lost him...I lost him in instant.

"How could I even deserve you when I'm just being numb in the first place?" there's something that straining me from talking. "How Paul?"