out of touch

I

I've always loved the feeling of the cold wind hitting my face. It always calmed me down whenever my mind was conflicted. But this time, despite the fact that I'm calm, it still feels depressing. Who wouldn't feel depressed after learning that I wouldn't actually live long enough to do everything I wanted to in this life? The people around me act like they're strong and that my illness doesn't bother them at all, but that's just a mask that they choose to wear when they're around. I know that they're hurting because of me, and I hate that I make them feel that way. 

As these feelings came about again. I took a deep breath and looked at the scenery one last time. While doing so, I heard the door behind me open. I could see a tall and slim person appear when I looked at the door's direction. The dimness made it difficult for me to see the person's face, but I could still sense that they were surprised when they noticed me. 

"Oh- sorry, I didn't expect that someone would be here at this hour." Said by the person. They had a pretty deep voice so I just assumed that they were a guy. There was a long pause following what they said. "It's alright." I responded as I looked back at the scenery before me. Another deafening silence came about again. After a few seconds that felt like a millennia went by, the person walked from the door and stood a few inches away from me. "At least the view from up here isn't as overwhelming as it is inside of this hell hole." The person muttered under their breath. I didn't say anything in response; I just hummed and nodded. I could now see their face in this view now as they stood beside me. It was a man with fair skin and long, shoulder-length black hair, which confirmed my assumption of him being a guy. 

He took out a cigarette from his pockets and lighted it with an unusual shaped lighter. The lighter also served as an accessory hanging from his neck. "Do I look amusing to you?" he asked. His question caught me off guard because I've been staring at him for a while without realizing it. "Sorry" I immediately looked away and looked in font of me again. The ebony-haired man just chuckled at what I just did and went on to puff a smoke from his cigarette. 

After that brief awkward encounter, I decided to return to my room. I hastily made my way to my room from the hospital's rooftop.  My anxious mother was pacing back and forth in the room as I opened the door. And as she saw me from the door, she immediately asked me where I went to and that she was worried about me. I calmed her down and I did all my best to not get scolded any more, I wasn't in the mood to hear her bickering.

 I just laid down on my bed and tried not to think about anything after successfully escaping from my mother's lectures. Nothing else occupied my mind but that awkward situation that happened earlier. I buried my head into my pillow even more to try to stop myself from thinking of it any more, but my attempts were unsuccessful. But after a while, I simply fell asleep.

The next day, I already felt the sorrow after I had just woken up to the sight of my parents talking to the doctor. I overheard what they were saying again. Since I'm not getting any better, I should do everything that I want to do right now. But I don't have the strength to carry out any of them. I've already went through a lot of tests but nothing ever worked. 

Nothing can save me now..

(A/N)

Greetings and salutations! ( ' ∀ ')ノ

I'm back to making books with no certainty of it being finished again :'D. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter that has no flavor at all. I wasn't sure how I'd start this story so... ahahah let's just see how this'll turn out in the future. See you guys in the future chapters!  (' ω '♡) 

Keep safe and advanced Merry Christmas!