Senseless

Take your pain

Thursday September 7th: Room 49 

8:31 am

First day back, Year 9

"Right class today is your first day back, you know this by now so I'm... not explaining it. Just chat amongst yourselves."

Got away from the first-day torture speech, still felt too long for what it was. Looking around the room there's a full array of people who, mostly, equally don't want to be here, there are the depressed closeted bisexuals in the corner, just existing as they always do (and before you say it they are definitely bi, my gaydar has never been wrong). Then there are the groups of girls. The straights, gays and the ones where I don't even know if they're sane. Straight girls are doing whatever they do, talking shit about every molecule that exists and making it REAL personal for each one, then the gays just chilling talking about stuff with meaning that's all lost in seconds. Then there are the generic groups, too much testosterone Andrew Tate simps, kids who live off vapes, teachers slaves (never call them pets, they take it as a compliment) and then the few NPC people, we talking Townsville folk. That's the class I'm lobbed with but at least there are only 3 more years, of this torture.

Rays of sun break through the extremely overdue blinds, just perfectly hitting my eyes like I'm destined to have a shitty day anyways. This kid nudges my arm, seemingly excited. "Did you hear the news" she seems to mumble from her dead body.  " noooo I didn't hear tell me more" I couldn't be more bothered at what this bitch had to say at any hour of the day let alone this one but I Humor her for this. " there's gonna be a new student this year" this bitch reveals like its news of the world ending and beginning anew. " wow I guess" all I can be bothered with at this point. 8:35... 15 minutes to go not the worst. Teach is already on cup 2 of coffee, starting the tally now. A yearly tradition of mine, the way I figure out how much a teacher hates themselves for taking their job, how many cups of coffee they drink in our lessons. The record was 13 but that lesson was something else completely, someone climbed in the ceiling, people were smoking cigars, there were people making out in the corners, someone climbed out a window and I just sat there the whole time fast asleep.

You get those stupid questions when you're a kid, the whole " what do you wanna be when you grow up" and they say it's your choice but there are like 6 choices, doctor, firefighter and Astronaut for boys then some shit like nurse, mummy and princess for girls. Just stupid shit like that confuses me, I know making kids dream is important but like does a 7-year-old need plans other than sleep and play Roblox or whatever they do. But I'm thinking back to that now as I wait for the last 5 minutes to go as I realise I have no goals plans or thoughts about the future at all I just want to survive ( and most of the time not even that).

4 minutes to go, start to pack my bags. Everyone stands up and shuffles about anxious to leave. I'm in a completely different universe, then she walks in.

And I feel 

Senseless