"i miss you a lot , i hope you are okay"
i think those are the words i keep spamming you when you are offline, amongst other things. right now, i want to tell you so many things but i feel if we were talking it would be so much easier and not really because i will probably end up rambling but you know what i mean?
firstly, i just want to tell you how crazily grateful i am for you. you are a hidden gem i never expected and deserved to find in this sea of people on earth. i feel that i don't deserve you at all, your presence is so comforting that i would describe it as hugging a pillow or being engulfed in a thick, warm sweater on cold days - at least that's what you make me feel. i am grateful that no matter how many times you dip, or i dip, we are still here and we never really drifted.
i am grateful that you didn't forget me. truthfully, i have separation anxiety and probably attachment issues with literally anything and anyone. often, when it's someone i really appreciate, i get so scared and nervous that i am going to lose them. for instance, when you dip, some days i am calm and hoping that you are doing well without spamming you. and then there are those days where i feel the need to spam, because i feel like i am losing you. you must think i am insane, ugh i am so so sorry. i promise i am working on this thing and not trying to make it an excuse and not letting it consume me and stuff.
i miss you a lot easily and honestly i don't want to make it seem weird but that's just true. but recently, i have been having more me time and getting to reflect more , and i realise that there's a reason why everything happens right? i think it's beautiful how two people can meet unexpectedly and still connect like they knew each other for years, because our souls met before. therefore, i trust that no matter how little time we get to talk to each other and eventually we leave this app or you leave this app first or i leave first, we will find our way back to each other. I believe in the Most Gracious and Loving Allah S.W.T. and that if we are meant to be companions and buddies, or even lovers, He will ease our life. and if not, may we meet in Jannah inshaallah <3
i hope you never change yourself and stop loving yourself because you are God's creation and all His creations are beautiful. Alex, I love you for the sake of Allah S.W.T and know that your name is always in my prayers and i pray nothing but the best for you. Amin. ᥫ᭡
