I'll Love You Forever

1.

July 13th

Boys... no thanks. Been there done that.

Recently I broke up with my long-term boyfriend. Not necessarily because of the "college experience" but rather because I knew I was not being treated the way I should have been. What does this have to do with anything? Well, I am about to head to my REQUIRED college orientation. I don't even think hardly any other colleges do this. Nothing inside of me wants to even look at a guy let alone get into another relationship.
Being single has been the biggest breath of fresh air I never realized I needed. I finally can let my lungs expand to their full capacity without fear of an argument on the horizon. Throughout this summer, I have been lucky enough to spend time with my friends and build even stronger relationships with them. These relationships are the ones that count the most, not breaking curfew and getting grounded for a dumb boy.
Have I mentioned I despise the male species?

----

Closing my journal I peer outside the bug splattered windshield at the vast rolling hills. I am so nervous. I am not the type to be super social but I want to step out of my comfort zone. My mother is with me, thankfully, I do not know what I would do without her.
"Only two and a half more hours", my mother says as she glances over at me, "quit biting your nails", she says as she slaps my hand.
"Sorry. I'm just very anxious", I remark.
"There is nothing to be scared of. Everyone is in the same boat as you", my mother assures me.
I let out a deep sigh and once again glance out the window. The sun is beginning to transition into the afternoon glow of a deep orange.

Just a few more hours.

——

I can practically feel my heart beating out of my chest as we make the final turn into the parking lot. There are so many people. I'm not the best when it comes to social interactions but I guess I should at least attempt to make new friends and have some familiar faces. After all, I will be living here for nine months. Alone.
The sun is beginning to set as we make our final turn into a parking spot. I reach for my duffel bag and pillow and let out a deep sigh. These three days could be the best entrance into college or the absolute worst time of my life.
"Are you ready?!", my mother says while clasping her hands together with a huge smile plastered across her face.
"Who knows", I shrug while turning towards the campus. An unknown world.
We begin our walk to the white tents propped outside the dorm buildings. I peer up at the dorm buildings standing as tall as city skyscrapers and wince at the thought of climbing all those stairs.
"Hi! Welcome to Colorado State! What is your name?", an orientation leader exclaims.
"Alexis Lane", I say as she begins sorting through her piles of name tags in the labeled "L-M" section.
"Here you are! And here is your room key", she says while handing me my lanyard and key.
"Thank you", I force a smile and walk back towards my mom.
We begin our walk to the eighth floor where I will be staying with a random person for two nights in a disgusting and muggy dorm. I know I need to be more optimistic but in all honesty, I'm terrified. Being in a new place with new people, instead of my small hometown, is quite nerve racking.
I insert the key into the aged door knob and turn it till I hear a click. I push open the door and look around the room. Bless. She's not here. I let out a huge sigh of relief and throw my duffel bag onto the so called mattress.
"This is so gross", I say while touching the most disgusting and uncomfortable mattress ever to exist.
"Welcome to college life", my mom laughs, "Let's head downstairs so you're not late for your first group event".