A/N: Credits for the pic I'm using as my book cover. Thanks!
Another thing pala. You'll read something na mga nangyari talaga. Like for example yung pagpunta ni Julie sa SanFo pati sa New York. PERO. Syempre inassume ko lang yung iba. Dinagdagan ko sa abot ng imahinasyon ko. Yung iba, exaggerated lang. Kasi nga I need to follow my plot, ginamit ko lang yung present time. AT HIGIT SA LAHAT, FAN FICTION po ito. This is just a piece of my very wide imagination. Thank you!
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Chapter 4
Ganun nalang ba kadali para sakanya ang lahat at para bang wala lang nangyari? I must say that she really is okay. Even without me in her life.
I couldn't help but to get pissed off by what she's doing there. Sexy outfits? Boys everywhere? Is this what she really wants? Then, fine! I'll give it to her. Siguro nga, masyado akong naging clingy sa kanya at hindi ko na namalayang nawawala na yung pagmamahal niya para sakin.
"Pre!"
Tumingin lang ako sakanya para sabihing wala ako sa mood para makipag-usap.
"Sungit mo, pre. Tatanong ko lang naman kung sasama ka sa night out ng Tikis mamaya eh."
"Hindi. Didiretso akong Antipolo."
"Moe, pare?"
"Ano?"
"Move on na, pre. Wag mong ikulong yung sarili mo sakanya. Mukha namang nagm-move on na rin siya eh."
"Shut up, Enzo. No one knows what I really feel right now. So don't give me that damn advice."
"Paano namin malalaman kung di mo sinasabi? Hindi naman ibig sabihin ng pagmove on, kakalimutan mo nang mahal mo siya eh. Magmove on ka lang sa sitwasyon, Moe. You're a total mess, pare. Fix yourself."
Iniwan niya ako sa dressing room.
Ilang beses na ba akong nasabihan ng 'Fix yourself'? Ilang beses na bang may nabadtrip sa mga asal ko? Ilang beses na ba akong nabigyan ng advice at sinabing magmove on na ko? At ilang beses ko rin bang uulitin na hindi ko kaya dahil hanggang ngayon ramdam ko pa rin yung sakit? At mahal ko pa rin siya.
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May tumabi sakin dito sa bar counter kaya tiningnan ko kung sino yun.
"Maq?"
Siya lang pala.
"Anong ginagawa mo dito?" Tanong niya.
Tumingin ako sakanya ng tinatanong-mo-talaga-kung-bakit look.
"Sira ulo! Ang ibig kong sabihin bakit nandito ka nanaman? At bakit naglalasing ka nanaman?"
"Maqui, di ko na kailangan magpaliwanag sayo. Alam kong alam mo na."
"Yeah, alam ko nga. I just wanna hear it straight from you."
Tahimik lang kaming umiinom dito sa bar counter habang nakatingin sa mga nagsasayaw sa dancefloor. Prolly, sa mga kaibigan naming mga party animal. Malakas ang alcohol tolerance namin, just so you know.
Obviously, this is a Tiki night. As per Enzo, ayos na naman kami since nung last time na nag-usap kami. Sabi niya, he just wants me to realize something. Kumpleto kami as in. No, I mean except for her, Julie.
She suddenly broke the ice between us.
"We're not that okay, just so you know."
"Why? She needs you."
"She won't listen to me though."
"Maq.."
"Hindi ko alam kung ano nanaman ang nangyayari sakanya o kung anong tumatakbo sa utak niya. She needs me? I think no. Hindi nga siya nakikinig diba? Alam mo minsan naiisip ko na kilala niya lang ako pag kailangan niya ako. Kilala niya lang ako pag magkaaway kayo. Tapos pag okay siya? Okay kayo? Wala na. Di na ako nag-eexist sa buhay niya."
"Maq, I---"
"Don't get me wrong, Moe. Alam mo namang suportado ko kayo. Di ko lang talaga mapigilang magtampo sakanya."
"Did you talked to her?"
"When?"
"The night when I called you because she... she b-broke up with me."
"Yeah."
"What happened?"
"She isn't the Julie we knew before. I didn't expect that coming. That she'll eventually change."
"Same here, Maq. I was taken aback. I don't know how she come up with that decision. I don't know how would I react. I don't know but I think I lost my self. Julie is my everything, Maq. You know that. She's my life."
"I know, Moe. I know."
"What should I do now?"
"You lost yourself?"
I stared at her.
"Then find it. Find it and fix it. Accept the fact that she already changed. I know mahirap. Ako rin nahihirapan tanggapin. Pero alam nating pareho na ang pagtanggap lang ang makakaya nating gawin sa ngayon."
"I still love her, Maq."
"Alam ko na rin yan. I'm not telling you to force yourself to unlove her. I know you can't. What I'm trying to say is try to live a life outside your JuliElmo world. Explore outside your world. There's so many things that you can't see and feel because both of you were stuck with each other and in your own world."
I kept my silence as I try to comprehend what she had said.
"But remember this, Moe. I don't think you'll be able to love someone as much as you love Julie. I think... no.. I am sure that she's the last girl you'll ever love. Because despite of what happened, I still believe that you were destined to love her 'til the end of time."
