TEACH ME PROFESSOR [Elizabeth Olsen]

Chapter 51 - Never change

LIZZIE'S POV

"Hey..."
"Hi..."

"Sorry, would you like me to go away? I can go if you wan-"
"No it's okay...or at least i think" she says looking out the window so as not to meet my gaze.
"It's just that... i didn't imagine our meeting like that, actually i didn't even think i'd ever meet you"
"Don't worry, it was who knows that the first time we met" i say wittily, trying to relieve the tension in the room.
She turns to me and i finally see her eyes, but full of tears ready to slide down her face.
"That's what pisses me off, not remembering you.
Not remembering how we met, not remembering anything about you.
I woke up and find you in this room and everyone keeps telling me i had a special relationship with you but i can't fucking remember it!
I look at you and i see a stranger, i look at you and i don't see anything they told me.
What was between us? i want to know" she asks to me.
"Trust me, it would be too much now, you would kick me out if you knew everything now" i say discouraged
"That's the problem, i should trust you but i can't"

It's all about trust.
Before i had to win back her trust, now i have to win it again, like the first time.

"I'll make you trust me again, but please don't push me away from you" instinctively i find myself holding her hand in mine, we both fix our hands on top of each other.
"How?" she asks in a weak voice
"I'll be honest with you, i'll tell you our story and make sure you remember us" i tell her while caressing the back of her hand and she seems to relax at my touch for the moment.
"Why are you doing it? I'm not special, i have nothing to give you. You're famous and i-well i'm nobody"
"You're everything to me y/n, you're everything i ever wanted and i'm sorry i realized it late, you're the most beautiful thing that has happened to me in my life" i tell her sincerely looking into her eyes.
"Did you realized it late?"
"Yes, unfortunately yes...if you're here-uhm well it's my fault actually" i see her look down and withdraw her hand from under mine.
"Oh..." she just says
"But i didn't do it on purpose, it didn't go the way you think, i swear" i explain hoping she understands
"Maybe it's better if you go now, i'd like to spend some time with the people i know"
it hurts me so much to see her detached from me, but i can't expect too much from her.
"Uhm yeah of course, i'll leave you alone with them, but uhm... well, would it be a problem if i came to visit you sometimes?"
"I don't know Elizabeth, i'm afraid of ruining the idea i've always had of you and in all honesty it's one of the things that keeps me alive, sorry but i hope you understand me" she says without meeting my gaze again , but this time i won't let her get away from me and neither will i.
"Hey can you look at me?" i tell her softly, i move a lock of her hair and she jumps as if she's scared.
"Hey i'm not here to hurt you, it's okay that you don't trust me but i promise if you let me, i'll take care of you and find a way through this.
You will remember us and if it doesn't happen, we will build a new story together, you and i" i tuck the lock of hair behind her ear and this time she seems more relaxed.
"Can you just give me some time to think about it? Everything is so strange and confusing right now" Her face looks like that of a lost puppy and god how i want to kiss her right now, reassure her with a caress, hug her tight and protect her from all the bad.
"Sure bab-uhm honey, anything you want.
I can come tomorrow, if you want of course"

Shit if i'd called her like that she would have thought I'm a psycho even if i could be wrong, i see a little hidden smile on her face.
"Yes uhm i think it's okay" just hearing this is enough for me to be happy, she wants to see me again and that's enough for me.
"Good, see you tomorrow" i see smiling at her
"See you tomorrow Liz-uhm Elizabeth" she says embarrassed while i giggle having deja vu.
The first time we met she did the same thing and it makes me smile how some things never change.
"You can call me Lizzie, even if you had another nickname for me"
"Which one" she asks curiously
"Well actually i was your little bear, you always called me that" i smile like a fool and she must have noticed.
"Oh...i guess you liked it when i called you that"
"Yes, so much. It made me feel more special and more... yours" i say this time embarrassed, i lower my gaze so as not to meet her gaze.
"Then i won't stop calling you like that, it's our thing and even if i don't remember it will stay that way forever" i look at her and for the first time this day i see her sincerely smiling at me.