Wont you notice whats going on?

The only part of this note.

So alls im gonna start this off with is if anybody is going through the same thing as me right now please talk to someone as i refuse and it is getting worse for me but i like to keep to myself.(116-123)(Thats a help number if u ever need it!.

So my dad has been in prison for 5yrs when people find this out i dont think they realise how much it effects me or people when someone u love but hate as been taken away from you.The worse part was that i wasent suprised when i found out as this is his 12th time now.He comes out this month 8 days from now,I dont know how to feel about this at all im barely getting sleep and not eating as much and im stating to get headaches and feel ill.

But I only realise how much this is effecting me when i started watching 13 reasons why.I know that sounds rlly pathetic but It just reminds me what Im going through at the momment i sometimes think what would happen if i killed myself right now on the spot or did the same thing as hannah backer.Im not doing this for attention but it just feels right for some reason.My brother also isnt takeing this very well my mum is only noticeing him tho.If i dont sleep one night ill just get yelled at but doesnt she understand im sure she would as she went through worse than me as a kid.

I honestly dont know what to do with my life right now i recalpced a couple of days ago  aswell and i was 4months clean i think its because ive had so much destraction from everything these past few months.Alls ive been doing is fake tanning wipeing it back off skin care do fake tan again do make up for no reason then taking it back off.I honestly dont know what to do with myself i just feel like ending it at this point i cant belive ive already wrote 342 words already.Thats another thing im starting to notice little things like people being friends but not even likeing eachother i dont get how life works.

Thats it rlly.

Just remmember if u ever feel like doing something call : (116-123)