Race On Race

Chapter 16 : Fear

fear
/fɪə/
noun
an unpleasant emotion caused by the threat of danger, pain, or harm.

J e r e m i a h.POV

I had just finished reading a bed time story to one of the kids as I got up and placed the book on the shelf where the other story books were , Nate and Yeri had left around 5 pm and that was a good 3 hours ago. "Hey , I'm all done" I said to Lara who was still here with me , "oh , well .......thanks for helping me out" she replied , "I didn't really have a choice though, did I?" I answered as she laughed . Putting a smile on my face . During those 3 hours with Lara I got to learn a lot about her , like how she's half British and that she likes to cut her pizza slices into squares . She's a fun person to be around honestly.

"Well , see you when you see me I guess" she said tucking a strand of her blonde hair behind her ear as she gave me a smile , "what about......see you this Saturday?" I asked , starring at me with those gorgeous eyes of hers she blushed knowing what I meant , "um ........sure , here ,give me your number" she said , taking out her phone and handing it over to me as I put my number in , "so um ......I'll text you when I get home I guess" she said about to leave  "see you this Saturday?" I asked one more time, she stopped and turned to face me , "see you this Saturday" she responded,with a huge smile on her face .

I was about to reach our apartment building until I noticed Amitola with some guy, "she's out this late? With someone?" I thought to myself. Despite her character, Amy wasn't a night owl . Something wasn't right and my brother instincts kicked in .I ran over and punched the dude as he fell to the ground , landing with a loud thud, "okay .....that hurt" I heard him say , "Jeremiah!" , "don't worry Amitola , he's not going to touch you" I said grabbing the unknown man by his collar, getting ready to punch him again, the man braced himself for impact as he flinched , that was until Amitola stopped me , "of course he's not going to touch me , he's my friend!" she yelled as I looked at her and then back to the guy , "hi , I'm Benjamin " he greeted , squinting his eyes in pain , "oh my goodness! Im so sorry , I thought you were in danger and I thought he was some sketchy dude..." I tried explaining to Amitola as she started laughing , "well thanks for trying to protect me I guess" she said laughing as I gave the guy a hand ,helping him get back up , "I'm sorry dude" , "no worries , you have .......quite interesting friends Amitola" he said rubbing his now swelling cheek , "yeah I definitely do . As I was saying , you should get going Benjamin, I'm okay now" I heard Amitola say , " you sure?" Benjamin asked , "yeah , I guess I just overreacted . Anyways , I need to get somewhere and it's almost late" she replied . Soon enough Benjamin left and it was just Amitola and I, "so, where are you going?" I asked her as she turned to leave , "I'm visiting Liam at the hospital, you can come with though" she said , it was already past my own personal set bedtime but considering I was already up this late , might aswell just follow along.

We got to the hospital and thankfully we still had 30 minutes until visitation was over . We got to the front desk and were led to room 234 , where Liam had been . We were then left alone and something felt off with Amitola , like way off , "Amy?", I called , getting nothing but a hum in response , "are you okay?" I asked as she kept quiet . Something was definitely wrong . "I'm scared" she said , "Amy it's okay to be scared, we all are , let's just hope that he wakes up soon", "no you don't get it Jeremiah, I'm not scared of the fact he might not wake up .........I'm scared of the fact that .........that..." she stopped talking, "that what?" I asked , "I'm scared of the fact that I'm losing feelings for him" she said as my eyes widened, honestly that shocked me , her and Liam had been dating for the past year now and they were obsessed with each other's presence, they were inseparable, I even thought that they would get married once we graduated if I'm being honest, "I just don't know ............... what if he wakes up one day and I have to break his heart?" , "Amy you're making it sound like you've lost ALL your feelings for him , deep down we both know you care about him" I said as I looked at her , "I mean of course I care about him and I love him , but.......do I love him the same way? What if he doesn't wake up and I meet someone else" the moment she said that it clicked , "someone else like that Benjamin guy?" I asked as she slowly nodded her head , I sighed. I mean it's okay if she doesn't feel the same way about Liam , she's only human , but what really sucks is that both of them are my best friends, it would not only be awkward between the 2 of them if they broke up , but it would be awkward among the 6 of us , "I don't know what to do Jeremiah, I still want to be with him-" , "then be with him" I blatantly said as she turned to me , "you might not love him the same but .......that doesn't mean you don't love him , what you feel for that Benjamin guy could possibly just be because he reminds of you Liam , doesn't he?" I asked her , hoping my assumption was right , I didn't know the guy that much but he radiated the same vibe I would get from Liam , that 'I'm your everyday generic smart white guy who likes Libraries and hanging out with my girlfriend' kinda vibe , Is that stereotypical? Yes but it's what I would say if I was asked to define Liam after having one conversation with him . The thought made me want to laugh but now wasn't the best time, Amy then spoke up"now that you mention it , he does remind me of Liam" she answered and I was right . Huh? I guess those psychology classes paid off , "well there it is , if he reminds you of Liam , doesn't that mean-" , "I still love Liam" she said , completing my sentence , "maybe what you're feeling for Benjamin is infatuation or something, maybe it's the similarity he has with Liam that's making you THINK you have feelings for him , when in reality, you're just missing Liam so much that you need someone to fill the space he has left" I said as she got closer to Liam's body on the hospital bed , "tell me , how did you and that Benjamin guy...let's say .......click?" I asked as her eyebrows furrowed , "well .......we were talking about books and he had this weird charm to him , kinda like-" , "Liam?" I said finishing her sentence ,she nodded , "and if I remember correctly, you and Liam would go on library study dates ,which he told me were just a ploy for you two to go and read books in the library all day" I added as I remembered how flustered Liam would get when he told us about their little library study meetings , making me laugh , "wow.....I do love him" Amy said , this time with certainty in her voice , "dang it , I know feel bad because it seems like I'm using Benjamin" she added and honestly, it did seem like it , "you can still be friends with him , just make sure you don't let his similarities with Liam blind you into thinking you love him , when in reality your Prince Charming......" I paused as I pointed at Liam , ".......is sleeping right there in that bed" I finished as a smile made it's way onto her face . I honestly hope that Benjamin guy doesn't have feelings for Amy , otherwise I'll feel bad for the dude.

"Why is it that we only talk to eachother like real friends when we're in this hospital room?" She asked making me chuckle , "you tell me . Come on , visitation is probably over , let's leave our sleeping Beauty" I said as I walked over to the door as she followed , she took one last glance at Liam and we left.

You better wake up soon buddy.

It was now a little after 10 when Amy and I got back , we decided to stop by a café to get something to eat , it seemed both of us didn't have anything for dinner . I tried opening the apartment door but it didn't budge ,it seemed they locked it . Luckily I didn't forget my keys , I opened the door and noticed that both Nate and Konane were still up . "Woah dude , why are you so late?" Nate asked as all I did was yawn , I was really tired , "you guys aren't asleep yet? We have classes tomorrow remember " I said as I slowly made my way to my room , "well, unlike your unfortunate self , we have afternoon classes tomorrow" Konane responded as he kept his eyes on the TV , they were watching AOT and I would've joined them if I weren't so tired and had class tomorrow morning , "anyways , see you guys tomorrow" I said as I bid them goodnight and went to bed , I didn't even bother changing into pajamas and fell face flat on my mattress.

I woke up to my alarm ringing and it was 6:30 , the time I usually woke up for my morning classes . I got up ,had a shower and made some cereal , it seems the others must have slept late considering that Konane the early bird wasn't up yet . I got my bag and made my sad way to class . I got in the elevator and looked at my phone to see if I got any texts and I did .

Unknown number : hey Jeremiah, it's Lara , this is my number by the way :)

I read the text and it put a smile on my face , that alone made my morning a little more bearable . A little though.

I can't wait for Saturday.