Diary Of A Trans Girl

Entry #1

August 12th, 2005
6:30 PM
Okay. So, first things first, I bought this to write down things so I can remember them when I'm an adult. My name is Chihiro, not Chikao, or you can call me Guritchi, which means Glitch in Japanese, my native language. I got the nickname because I love computers and like the word, not because I am a glitch. I'm from Kyoto, Japan, but when I was around four years of age, we moved to Long Beach, California. I have three sisters, Ai, AIko, and Chiaki. Ai and Aiko are twins and fifteen years old, and Chiaki is only nine. She survived childhood cancer a few years ago and still chooses to wear a wig because she thinks her hair is too short. My parents are Izumi and Kento, and we are the Fujishimas. I'm only twelve, but I'm going to ninth grade this year- I skipped second and seventh grade- because I'm gifted.

At the moment, I'm very nervous. I have to tell my family something big, and we're about to eat dinner.

"Chikao! Dinner's ready, come wash your hands!" My mother's calling. Be right back.

7:30 PM

I did it. I told them.

Taking a deep breath, I washed my hands in the downstairs bathroom and slowly walked to our table. It's about the height of a coffee table. Heck, it probably is one. We sat at this table in the family room when we didn't have company or when we weren't eating a lot of food. My mother came in from the kitchen, carrying our food one by one. It seemed she had prepared my favorite, panda-shaped onigiri and miso soup with tsukemono.

"You had something important to tell?" She sat down next to my father and fixed her glasses.

"Yes but I think I'll wait until Aiko decides to come down," I played with my thumbs and fixed my t-shirt and pants. I wasn't very comfortable.

"Chikao, your glasses are going to slide into your soup if you don't fix them and lift your head," my dad laughed. He was less serious than mom.

"Aiko stop being a whiny little baby and get down here," Ai yelled, and loudly.

Aiko stomped down the stairs and slammed herself onto the ground beside mom. It looked like someone had copied and pasted her, changed the clothes she was wearing, and gave her a grumpy face instead of a stoic one.

"And what are you so mad about?" Dad just tried to connect his so-brown-they're-almost-black eyes with hers.

"Someone," She glared at me, "Took my eyeliner and my mascara.."

"Chikao," Mom looked at me, "Why would you need to steal her makeup? You're a boy."

"See, that's the thing," I began, shaking, "I'm not really one."

"Huh?" Chiaki dropped her onigiri, and her chopsticks, to the ground.

"Wait, so you're-" Ai began before I interrupted.

"Yes, I'm.........transgendered. I want to be called Chihiro, now. And I want to stop wearing boys' clothes. I've known something was wrong for a really long time," I admitted.

"Okay, Chihiro. I can lend you more makeup. Sorry I got so mad. Actually, I think you can fit a few of my dresses. You can totally pass! You're already so small and feminine-like," Aiko smiled.

It was true. I do have a pretty feminine body for a biological boy. I also have a bad case of the baby-faces and wear glasses that are kinda cute. My hair is pitch black, and I do have bangs. My hair stops right below my ears, and I seriously wish it was longer. Thankfully, Aiko wasn't the only one who responded well.

"You know, I kinda always wanted just girls," Mom smiled, but rather uncomfortably.

"I'm going to make sure you get all the new clothes you want. I have another girl to spoil now," Dad grinned, which was common.

"Hm. You really could pass," Ai agreed and kept eating, "Now I have three little sisters. You know, cause I'm ten seconds older than Aiko."

Aiko just rolled her eyes and finished up her food.

But Chiaki's reaction was the best. Her eyes lit up and she got a huge grin on her face, "Yay! You're my new favorite sister!"

I was always her favorite sibling, no doubt about it. We hang around all the time, playing Barbies or Mario or me helping her beat a gym leader in Pokemon. We've been close since day one, and I was so upset when she was going through her treatment, that I threw a fit when I had to go to school instead of go with her and our parents to the center. It was a scary and really sad time ,considering my father had just beat the jaws of death that are cancer. I just wanted to be with my little sister.

"You know, since your hair isn't that long, why don't you wear one of my longer wigs?" She offered after supper.

"Really?" I asked.

She nodded and pulled me to her room. She showed me a longish black wig and put it on my head, "Put a dress on, and you'll be a princess!"

Right now, I'm lying in bed. The wig sitting on my shelf. I'm going to my friends', Iris and Simon's, house tomorrow, where Simon's boyfriend and our friend Aubrey will be. Their mom is really nice and pretty and their brother is chill and their baby sister is the cutest thing on this planet and their dad is also nice and attractive. They moved from London, England a while ago. Aubrey is really wealthy but his family is modest about it, and his brother lives in Canada. His mom is super pretty and his dad is really funny. He was born in Paris, but they moved from Montreal, Quebec, which is in Canada.

10:30 PM:

Okay, it's time to go to bed. My parents made me try on Aiko's dresses, and I now have a good supply. Night.