ellie williams <3

if i ever were to lose you

𝓢𝓾𝓶𝓶𝓪𝓻𝔂: are you really just friend? lots of fluff but also smut hehe !

𝓦𝓪𝓻𝓷𝓲𝓷𝓰: fighting, homophobia, blood, angst, smut (oral sex, fingering, switch!ellie)

𝓦𝓸𝓻𝓭 𝓬𝓸𝓾𝓷𝓽: 4.5k

𝓟𝓪𝓲𝓻𝓲𝓷𝓰: ellie williams (TLOU) x fem reader

Now.
I wanted to let it go, but I couldn't. I stared at my scattered reflection in the broken mirror, barely able to lock eyes with the girl who looked like a pathetic, lost puppy. Harshly scrubbing her hands, trying to wash away the blood that settled in deep under the nail beds no more than 1 day ago. It was no use anyway, it won't be coming out any time soon. I looked at the condition of the mirror, shards missing and one big ripple of smashed glass in the middle. I don't consider myself a violent person, but punching that mirror felt good. At least at first, now I just feel kinda stupid.
Unable to look any longer at the dark, purple bags under my eyes and the impressive scar on my cheek that was once gushing blood, I turn away and head for my bedroom. Flopping down on the bed and reaching for my old, stupid teddy for comfort. Technically it was a bunny. A little white bunny with stitching of flowers & bumblebees throughout the fur that was once soft. It didn't really look like a bunny anymore though, it was basically brown now, one of the ears had torn off a year ago and the face was beginning to distort from all the strange places I've dragged it. I still loved it. If I left home with the chance of not coming back, it did too. Unsurprisingly that 'stupid old toy' happened to be a present from Ellie. Years ago we snuck out and rode the horses for miles, I had never felt so free in my life. It sounds like a dumb idea I know, but we weren't reckless about it. I mean the patrols had already cleared the area and we had weapons just in case. She took me on a path that overlooked the town. I couldn't stop thinking about how nice it would be to come at night and watch the lights with her. We raced for a while and ended up at a clearing with a creek that looked almost crystal clear. I remember it like it was yesterday.

3 years ago
"No fucking way!" I gasped, starting at the water that was glistening in the hot sun. It was so clear I could see the fish swimming away from where Ellie had just dipped her feet in. "Yes fucking way" Ellie giggled back at me, mocking my tone. I had wanted to see a waterway like this for years. I'd seen videos of the ocean on an old DVD my mother gave to me when I was young, although it was ambitious to think I would ever be able to see a beach. This, however, was the next best thing.
I inhaled a deep breath, looking around and taking it all in. It was so beautiful here.
"So, what are you waiting for? Hop it!" Ellie coaxed me from the waters edge.
I stared at her.
"You know I can't actually swim right?"
"Oh c'mon, surely you've picked up a thing or two from all those hours you've spent watching that film of yours" she teased.
I rolled my eyes at her playfully and then moved my stare back to the water hesitantly.
"I'm only kidding" she said, "Joel's been teaching me, I'll help you. Plus it's only shallow anyway."
She hops up from the log she had perched herself on and reaches for my hand.
I don't know if I can do this. It doesn't look that shallow and I'm not sure Ellie is really that good at keeping afloat either. I look at her face and can't help but feel a strange but comforting feeling in my gut. I really like her face, those soft freckles and that little scar in her eyebrow. Her stern yet pretty green eyes that almost always look serious (I'm assuming from all the stress she's endured throughout her lifetime) soften as she stares back at me. I really like how they do that. I move my eyes further down and can't help but have a quick glance at her lips.
"Earth to Y/N?" she waves her hand in my front of my face, snapping me out of my thoughts. "You okay?"
"Yes, sorry. Just daydreaming, you know me." I sigh, embarrassed that she caught me doing whatever the hell that was. I don't understand the way she makes me feel sometimes. She laughs, "Yes, Y/N, I do know you, which is why I know you've been dreaming about swimming since you were a kid. Now get your ass in the water right now before I throw you in!" I gasp as I begin to back away from her giggling.
"You wouldn't dare!" I yell
"Watch me."
I run away, darting around a tree trying to be stealthy but it's no use. Ellie is way faster than me. I feel a strong arm wrap around my leg and suddenly I've been swept off the ground. I flail my arms in an attempt to get out of her grip but she's holding on tight, effortlessly jogging towards the creeks edge. I watch as the water gets closer and closer and before I know it I'm in the air heading straight for it.
"Ellie!" I scream, terrified as I know that in a couple of seconds I will be submerged.
I think I heard her laugh just as I hit the surface. I open my eyes and i'm under the water. It's beautiful and calm. I had started to panic but the sensation is so comforting that I forget why I was worried. Then I realise I'm running out of breath. I use my legs to kick and my arms to push like I had seen in the movie. It worked. My head poked out of the water and I saw Ellie staring down at me.
"So," she smirked "What do you think?"
"I think you almost drowned me" I huffed, kinda mad that she had thrown me in without much warning.
"I knew you'd be okay, any longer under the water and I would have jumped in and saved you"
I rolled my eyes playfully, "Oh my hero! How'd I get so lucky!" I reached out my hand. "Help me up?" I watched as she went to moved her hand towards mine but before she could process it I had pulled her in with me. I burst out in uncontrollable laughter as she gracelessly pushed her way to the surface, a grumpy look on her face.
"Oh c'mon El, now we are even!" I giggled
"Oh no we are not!" she retaliated. A huge wave splashed directly into my eyes, I rubbed them to get my sight back and see Ellie laughing and backing away from me.
"You're on!" I squeal.
That's how we spent the majority of the afternoon. Once we finally were too tired and pruned to continue swimming we sat in the clearing and shared a sandwich together. This has been the best day of my life. I looked over at Ellie and that feeling in my gut came back, what does it mean?
She smiled at me, "C'mon, we better head back before our asses gets whooped" I signed.
"Actually one more thing" she replied, rummaging through her backpack.
She pulled out a little stuffed bunny toy.
"Uh, this is um... for you. You said you'd been having bad dreams so idk I just thought you might like it. I found it when I was out with Joel the other day and it made me think of you." She shrugged, awkwardly looking away. I moved her face to look at me. "I love it, thank you Ellie" I smiled softly. That was really thoughtful of her. I'll remember this day forever.