Fallen

Fallen - Foreshadow

(Side note: this is just a look into the story x)

"I was perfectly fine without you in my life. Then all of a sudden here you come stomping into it and now I'm fucking ruined. So why don't you just leave." God I was such and idiot. I didn't mean that at all. I need him in my life too much to lose him. I just can't accept it anymore that he isn't mine. Why do these things always happen to me? I have lost so much in my life, and that's all I do. Lose money, lose family, lose friends, lose everything. I just want someone I can keep. Someone who will love me and want me just as much as I want them. Why did I have to say that to him. Why did I fall in love with him. Why do people always want things they can't have? I never thought I'd be one of those girls. That sits around waiting for a text from a guy that probably isn't thinking of her. A girl that forgives and forgives until she can't anymore. A girl who lets 1 guy; 1 guy out of 7 billion people affect her on a daily basis. I never expected any of this, ever. I'm such an idiot. Because I couldn't have him, I wanted him so much more. Oh shit, my phone buzzed. "Then why the fuck do you still act like you want me? I'm over this Mira. I fucking loved you. I did love you. But I couldn't take what we had anymore. I wanted you so much but my mind said no. I had to do what I had too." Oh great. Another bullshit lie. "I hate this, Zeke. I really do." I really hope he doesnt respond. I'm so tired of fighting with him. I really am. I just want us to move our seperate ways, I cannot keep treating myself like this. It's not only killing me emotionally, but physically and mentally. Ugh, he actually responded. "What do you hate Mira? What do you really hate? If you don't tell me I can't stop myself from saying things that I don't know will hurt you more. I don't know what I'm supposed to do." Is he actually serious? "You don't know what to do? Are you seriously sitting here telling me YOU don't know what to do?? I'm sitting here waiting for you hoping someday soon that you'll realize I really fucking love you. After one of the worst years I've ever experienced, you pop into my life and somehow completely change it. I fell for you Zeke, and no one was there to catch me. Now I've finally hit the ground and I honestly don't think I'll ever be able to recover from this."