Koi no yokan (恋 の 予感) is the feeling of knowing that you will soon fall in love with the person you have just met.
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"Would my story be different if i never met you?"
"Maybe it'll be. But what i know is, something inside you brought us toget...
I never really believes when someone told me that love can fade. I suppose, those things could happen. I was blinded with the affection he gave me, i was too naive to even stand up for myself. Too scared to look him right in the eye and said to end all of this nonsense.
In the end, he'll be the one that have courage to use his lies against me. Why cant i do the same? I still have a little expectation in him, or so i thought he would be too.
"I know everything sora, you could've told me that you lose interest. Things wouldnt be like this" He said.
I sat in silence thinking what i've done to him, He were the one having affairs with that woman from the coffee shop we always goes. Then why would he said such things? For a second i thought i was the villain here.
"Excuse me?" I said
"Did you think i didnt know? I saw you walking with your so called neighbour"
He continues
"You're cruel Sora, i put a lot of effort into this, into us. I should've just stop from the very beggining"
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"Then why didnt you?"
"Are you being serious right now?" He asked with a higher tone
"If you really think i was a jerk, why didnt you just leave me in the first place?"
My tone got higher too.
No words are coming out of his mouth. As a matter of fact, his eyeballs are looking other ways to make up another lies.
There were no "neighbour". He were just exaggerating the truth. I would never do that, i dont even think i have the courage to do such dirty thing in our relationship. And yet, here he is.
I couldnt stand it anymore, he makes me sick but i still cant take the words out of my mouth. As if i was scared some kind of monster would escape from inside of me.
"That's it, We're done sora."
He left me in the middle of the night. Just like that.
I always blame myself after that incident, blaming myself for not telling him that i was the one who's wounded. Blaming myself letting him go just like that, when he should've take responsibility for having an affair. And blaming myself for not standing up first and tell him the truth about me.
I was a fool, foolish to let a jerk take control over me. I promise myself to never get involve again on a thing called "love". Cause it'll leave me nothing but misery.
This incident happened about 3 years ago, but who knew that 3 years later i'll repeat the same mistake but with a different person?
