Disorder

12: Recover

A/n: Hey guys! So sorry I haven't updated in like 29174027429 years but I'm going to start focusing more on this story and like one or two others so it'll be better. I also have some more ideas and inspiration for this story so that'll most likely lead to more frequent updates. Alright, that's all I have to say.

Jess's P.O.V.

I couldn't see anything. It was just dark everywhere. My head ached and I could hear soft, steady beeping coming from somewhere. I could also hear something very faint but it was hard to make out.

I then felt a presence, and then I heard talking.
"Hey Jess. I don't know if you can hear me but this is worth a try." My mother started. "It's been a few days since this happened...we are all a mess. Even Ashkii."

Just the name itself made me want to start crying. When she continued, her voice was low.

"I know he did something to hurt you. I don't know what it is but whatever he did...he feels so terrible. The night you came to the hospital, he left and went downtown with his friends...they were drinking and they went to a club. He and his friends got in a bar fight and they got arrested."

Ashkii got arrested? He was drinking? What is happening? I need to wake up. I...have to...wake...up.

* * *

I opened my eyes, only to be blinded by lights. I let out a groan and put my hand up to my head. I squeezed my eyes closed, trying desperately to block out the light.

"She's awake!" Someone whisper-yelled. I let out another groan and opened my eyes slowly. I found my mom with tear stained cheeks, along with my aunt and uncle and few cousins. My mother rushed to my side and sat in the chair next to the hospital bed.

"Hey honey. How you feeling?" She asked, running her hands through my hair. I leaned back slightly from her hand, feeling uncomfortable.

"Like shit." I said, my voice cracking. She laughed lightly and looked over to the other visitors, nodding her head in my direction to make them talk to me.

I honestly didn't mind if they talked to me or not, I knew they didn't like me much anyways. They all came over and we started talking and everything. I still felt a presence in the room other than my family.

"Excuse me, Mary Winters?" A nurse asked at the doorway, looking around for my mom. My mom stood up straight and walked to the nurse, leaving an empty space next to me. I looked in the empty space finding none other than Ashkii himself.

We made eye contact and I immediately looked away and focused on my cousin.

"So how have you been?" I asked her and she started talking my ear off which is exactly what I wanted. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Ashkii stand from where he sat in the small chair in the corner of the room. He slowly walked up to my bed, making me inhale sharply.

I loved him. So, so much. It scared me how much I cared for him and how much I actually wanted him. It scared me how much I needed him. I just wanted him to touch my hand, just to feel his skin and his warmth, just to feel okay.

But, I had to be strong. I couldn't give into him easily. Actually, I couldn't give into him at all. He lied to me. He played me. He used me for two months just to entertain his friends.

But you know he doesn't feel that way anymore... he cares about you. He got arrested, and i mean...just look at him.

My mind was right. He looked like a mess. His sweatshirt looked a few sizes too big, his black skinny jeans were dirty, his hair stuck out in every direction, and there were bags underneath his eyes and his eyes looked red and puffy like he has been crying.

"H-Hey Jess." He spoke softly, his voice cracking. He sounded so weak and sad. All I wanted to do was attack him with a huge hug...not yet. Don't...Don't break.

So, I tried to focus on my cousin. I nodded along with what she was saying acting like I was listening. Don't get me wrong, I love her but holy shit can she talk your ear off. Ashkii still stood where he stopped, trying to get my attention.

"Hey guys." My mom said, catching everyone's attention. She looked between Ashkii and I, and motioned for the rest of my family to follow her. "Let's leave these two to get some privacy."

They nodded and my cousins gave me hugs before walking out. My mom gave me a look, as if saying "talk to him" before closing the door.

I inhaled sharply for the second time and closed my eyes. I was scared. I knew I was most likely going to give in to him. What can I say? I'm in love with him.

"Jess..." I heard his voice say, making my eyes open. I looked over to him slowly, to see him looking right back at me. His eyes tear up when I look back to him.

"I'm s-so sorry. I was such a-an assho-le. I should've never even talked to you. I hurt you and-and I..." He went on, rambling. He hiccuped as he went along. "I...I love you. A-and I know you may not believe me but its true. I can't get you off my mind..at all. I thought.."

He stopped for a second squeezing his eyes closed, making tears stream down his face.

"I thought I k-killed you. I thought you died. You always told me we were gonna be okay, this broke my heart. I just.." He said, tears still streaming to his face quickly.

I sat up, turning my legs to face him. He was standing right in front of me now, tears dripped from his chin and jaw onto the floor. I could barely see him through my own tears. I motioned for him to come closer and he instantly fell to his knees and hugged me from there.

His face was buried in my stomach, his arms around my waist. My arms were around his head, my forehead resting atop his head. His sobs racked through his body, his tears soaking the hospital gown I was wearing.

We stayed there for a while, crying in each other's arms.
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Hey guys! So it literally took me forever to write this. I was crying writing this whole chapter tbh. Okay so please vote and comment and I love you all so much!

L o v e y o u - J.x