Warning. Contains strong/offensive language ahead.
Beep.
Pitter-patter.
Beep.
Pitter-patter.
The sound of the machine and the raindrops simultaneously rang in my ears. Like they know that I'm desperately praying, they are also going along. Word by word. Sound by sound.
Pinagmasdan ko ulit ang lalaking mahimbing na natutulog sa harapan ko. He sleeps like a baby. Na para bang walang naghihintay sa kanya na gumising at marinig muli sa kanya kung gaano siya kasayang makita ulit ako sa harapan niya.
He used to smile widely as soon as he sees me. Hug me tightly. Kiss me softly.
Ngayon, ibang-iba siya sa masiglang taong nakilala ko. Minahal ko.
I held his hand as if it were my source of strength.
"Please come back to me," I whispered as my tears rolled down.
Gods, angels, saints, just to anyone who can hear me. Please, just this once. Hear me. Bring him back to me.
"Tory."
I abruptly wiped my tears as I heard my name. Pagkatapos ay lumingon ako para batiin ang pumasok. As soon as I saw who it was, I stood up.
"Tita, kanina pa po kayo?" Lumapit ako sa kanya at nag-mano.
"Kaka-pasok ko lang. Galing lang akong grocery para bumili ng mga prutas." She showed me the plastic full of fruits. Kinuha ko ito at nilagay sa lalagyan, habang siya naman ay lumapit sa kama. Kumuha ako ng mansanas at sinimulang balatan ito.
"You should live your life, Tory."
I halted.
"What do you mean tita? I'm living my life already na po." I said.
"Hindi ito ang gusto ni Atlas para sa 'yo. He wants you to be happy--"
"I am happy where I am," I said as I faced her.
"I am happy that I am by his side so please tita. Hayaan niyo po akong alagaan siya hanggang sa gumising na siya ulit. I want to be with him once he wakes up." I plead.
Hinaplos niya ang mukha ng kanyang anak. Her tears were falling down again. It's been very hard for me, so I can't imagine the pain of a mother who is losing her child.
"Tatlong taon na ang nagdaan, 'nak. Hindi ka pa ba napapagod?"
Binitawan ko ang prutas at ang kutsilyo pagkatapos ay lumapit sa kanya. I held her hand.
"T-three years, five years o kahit sampung t-taon pa po 'yan. I v-vowed in front of the altar that I, w-will never leave his side, k-kahit ano pong mangyari." I sniffled. I think my tear tank is not dried up yet, cause here I am again.
She held back my hand, and our tears were now wetting both of them.
"Your father and I have already decided. We'll let go of him."
I halted again, but now I think my breath stopped too. My tears are now falling rapidly.
"W-what do y-you mean? H-he'll wake up s-soon! Hindi t-tayo susuko! We n-need to fight b-beside him so h-he can f-fight too!" I cried out. But she shakes her head like she's not hurting too.
"Tory, w-we need to let him g-go. He f-fought enough already. Hindi ko na k-kayang makita pa siya sa ganitong kalagayan. We need to let him r-rest so he can go p-peacefully." I clearly heard what she's saying but my brain can't-, no, my brain doesn't want to understand all of it. I want to forget all of it.
