Three to Tango

Some Feelings from the Past

VENICE'S

***

Carrying an empty rattan basket on my hand, I was lost in my own thoughts as I made my way back to the mansion. It's past twelve in the afternoon already, lunch was over, and I had to be back alone because Chad had some meeting with the Hacienda's farmers regarding their next planting season.

Diretso ang tingin ko sa daan habang bumabalik ang isip ko sa napag-usapan namin ni Nay Lucia. It was the first time she was nice and accepting of me. Hindi ko naman inaasahan na ipaparamdam niya sa akin nang bonggang-bongga ang guilt.

I mean, Chad was a really really kind person and hurting him would surely give anyone the biggest guilt of his life. At hindi ko siya gustong saktan pero kung iisipin nang mabuti, iyong set-up namin at iyong ipinapagawa niya sa akin kaya niya ako isinali sa relasyong ito ay magdudulot ng matinding sakit. Hindi lang kay Steph kung hindi higit sa kaniya.

That's how I assessed the situation not until earlier. I considered Chad's and Steph's feelings and I was so sure sila lang ang masasaktan.

But when Nay Lucia asked earlier what will happen to the three of us in the end... That's when I realized, I was part of the picture. I could also be hurt.

Napabuntong hininga ako at napatigil sa paglalakad nang nasa tapat na ako ng malaking front door ng mansion. I stared at the varnished door for a few seconds before I decided to open it.

Umalis ako para takasan ang sakit ng pagkawala ng kaibigan ko. Pero hindi ako na-inform na sakit din siguro ang nahanap ko imbis na sarili ko.

But there's one question in my mind right now that I was desperate to answer. Sino ang magiging dahilan ng sakit na mararamdaman ko? Masasaktan si Steph dahil sa pag-alis ni Chad habang masasaktan si Chad dahil kailangan niyang iwan si Steph.

At ako?

“Bumalik ka na kaagad?”

Napaigtad ako dahil sa malalim at pamilyar na boses mula sa likuran ko. When I turned around, I saw Steph, standing there and wearing his Senior High uniform.

I blinked.

For some reason, I was stunned on the way Steph looked so good in his uniform today even though I’d seen him for a few times before. Dahil ba sa ayos ng buhok niya na katulad noon o sa paraan ng tingin niya sa akin na parang kapareho rin noon.

For some reason, my cheeks heated. For some reason, I felt like I saw the high school version of him— the Steph I once believed I would grow old with.

“Nasaan si Chad?”

I gulped before heaving a deep sigh to erase all the unwanted thoughts about Steph. I straightened my back, while simply calming my insides.

“Naiwan si Chad sa Hacienda,” I answered nonchalantly before I turned around and walked to the kitchen. “May meeting pa raw sila nung mga farmers,” dagdag ko pa bago tuluyang tinungo ang lamesa at ipinatong doon ang basket na ginawang lagayan ng tanghalian namin ni Chad.

Akala ko hindi susunod si Steph pero narinig ko ang mga yabag niya. I felt tensed and drip of sweat was forming on my forehead. Hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit ko ‘to nararamdaman! Was it because he looked gorgeous in that uniform?

Am I that horny to fantasize about the Steph from high school? Goodness. Ang lala ko!

“Ah, para siguro sa susunod na planting season iyong pag-uusapan nila," Steph said as he looked inside the fridge. “Nandoon ba si Tay Isko?”