Just Annah

One

I never remember being told that I was unwanted. And as far back as I can remember, I don't ever remember my father telling me that I was in the way and that I was not needed.

I was the first born in the family. My father took me with him to council meetings and danced with me at the balls that were held every year in our home in celebration of the new year.

But as soon as my little brother, Eric, was born I was pushed to the back burner. I became my mother's child. A son was what every man in power wanted. A boy to mold and form and strengthen into the powerful man that was needed to lead a whole country.

No leader in their right mind wanted a daughter for a first born. A frilly creature that could be led astray by her childish whims and wants. The only thing a daughter was good for was marrying off to obtain more land and make alliances with other leaders.

And that's exactly what my father intended to use me for.

The suitors started coming around a little after my fourteenth birthday. Most of them were older than me, in their twenties. I was still the scrawny, knobby kneed kid taking after her father in height with eyes that were too big for her face and freckles across her cheeks and nose.

I was always made to stand to the side of the dinner table when the suitors came to see my father. I was never allowed to eat with them or to speak until I was addressed directly.

The first suitor who stood out to me was one who came just a little before my sixteenth birthday celebration. He came in like all the others and spoke with my father. But every time he would stop the conversation, he would glance at me. He had wide blue eyes and dark hair. Something was different about him. He carried an air of confidence and kindness about him.

The first day he was in our home, he ate dinner with my father. As always, I stayed out of the way, only speaking when spoken to. As soon as my father got up to take a phone call, he motioned for me to come over and take a seat by him. He asked if I was hungry. My mother scolded me for eating more than one meal and a small snack throughout the day, especially in the weeks leading up to a new suitor coming to visit. I was starving.

He took his plate and pushed it over to me and poured a small portion of wine for me. He smiled at me and asked me questions about myself while I nibbled at what should have been his dinner. I felt at ease with this boy. Something I never felt with my own father or any of the men he sent to appraise me like a prized cow at the market.

Of course, my father was infuriated with me when he came back from his call to find me eating with the guest who had asked for another plate for himself from a servant. I stopped eating and wiped my mouth with a napkin, my lipstick coming off in the process. "I'm sorry, father." I said, standing up. I felt suddenly sick. I knew he would unleash his wrath as soon as the suitor was gone for the night.

I started to go back to my standing place, but the suitor grabbed my arm. "Stay. You're as much a part of this as any of us here, if not more."

I swallowed hard and looked to my father. He growled and nodded. "Take your seat, Annah." He was beyond displeased.

This boy, I couldn't help but notice, had a tattoo on the inside of his wrist of three triangles entertwined. I never got the opportunity to ask him what it meant,

His name was Curtis.

My father allowed me to go out with him on a few occasions. When we were together, he took me through the slums, allowing me to see what I was never taught about. The people who lived in the slums made the things that the people in the upper class enjoyed the luxury of. They made electronics and furniture in the factories. They made our lives easier, but we only made their lives harder.

My father ended the courtship after only a few dates and public appearances. I had only kissed him once, on the cheek when we were at dinner in one of the small cafes in the slums. My father had taught me that the slums were a place to be feared, but they weren't. I felt comfortable there. No one judged me because I didn't want to paint up my face to look flawless. No one cared about anything but who you really were.

I'll just skip ahead to the last of the suitors, Alexander. His father owned the territory south of my father's. My father wanted that land more than anything. I was 18 when he came along. I was 20 when the agreement between my father and him was made for our marriage.

So, there I sat at one of the nicer restaurants in the city, turning the ring around my finger. The same ring that was pushed onto my hand only hours before when the engagement was signed and agreed upon.

"Smile..." He said with a grin. "You're getting married. Isn't that what every girl wants? To be married to a man of power?" He took my chin and turned my face to him directly.

I gave him a wide grin. He smiled back. "You're really going to have to work on the whole smiling thing..."

I took a long sip of wine and looked away from him. My eyes stung and my stomach was in knots. I was hoping that the alcohol would soothe it.

"I think it's about time that we leave. If you're going to start crying again I don't want to be in public when it happens." He put money on the table and snatched me up from the table. Which, I'm sure that the whole motion looked much kinder than it actually was.

I started crying as soon as the door to the car was slammed shut. I didn't want to marry him. I didn't even want to be in the same car as him. I turned away from him when he slid in beside of me and leaned over to kiss me.

"C'mon, Annah... No one likes a sour attitude in a woman."

"I don't want to marry you." I whispered.

"What was that?" He asked.

I shook my head and looked out the darkened window at the buildings we were passing by. We were headed toward the slums. Alexander knew how the slums affected me. He knew my sympathy for the people who lived there. He knew how I missed the one suitor who treated me like more than a piece of meat he wanted to buy.

He grabbed my face and forced me to look at him. "I asked you a question, girl."

"I don't want to marry you." I told him plainly.

"Well, I don't really think you have a choice in the matter any more, do you?"

I swallowed hard, staring up at his almost black eyes. I had never had a choice in any matter.

"The papers have been signed and you are mine." He paused to squeeze my chin. "Now, why don't you clean those tears off of your pretty little face and we'll head back to my penthouse."

"No." I said plainly. "I'm tired of you and my father telling me every move that I can and cannot make. I'm tired of it all." I shoved him away from me and told the driver to stop the car where we were.

As soon as the wheels had stopped, I pushed the door open and scrambled out into the street. Alexander grabbed me around the waist and pulled me back into the car, the back of my head slamming against the top of the car. "Drive" He ordered the driver again.

I rammed my elbow into his stomach and jerked my head back into his nose. "Stop this car now!" I screeched. I clawed out of Alexander's grasp and rolled out of the car as it slowed down. My arms scraped the pavement in the process. I looked back at the car. Alexander was climbing out with blood pouring from his nose and mouth.

I managed to get up and start running up the street on one broken heel. He caught me quickly and slammed me against a wall. My vision dimmed at the edges with the impact of my head on the brick.

"You will learn to listen one way or another. But it won't be from me, you disobedient bitch." He slapped me across the face. "If you stay on these streets for a few days, maybe then you'll understand just how good you had it with me."

He grabbed me by the hair and dragged me away from the wall. "But until that time, you're not even worth my effort anymore." He shoved me to the ground and slammed my face into the pavement. I grabbed his fist in my hair and tried to claw it away. The second impact sent me into darkness. "You're not even worth it..."