In The Middle

Seven: Discussion

Ren's POV...

I walked into the house tired, with the files of the three women that I had Ms. Davenport record in my right hand and my briefcase in the other one. The quietness that greeted me felt a bit eerie and offsetting. “Honey, I'm home,” I called out as I set the briefcase and files on the coffee table. “Hina, baby, I'm home,” I called out when I didn't get a response from her. Usually, I'm greeted at the entrance of the living room with a kiss and a hug, but these last few weeks she hasn't done any of those things.

Pulling my cell phone out of the breast pocket of my suit, I dialed her number. My heart began to race when I heard it ringing somewhere upstairs. While loosening my tie, I ran up the stairs. “Hina,” I called out after checking our bedroom and bathroom. Before I had made it to the last room at the end of the hall, I tried my best to mentally prepared myself for the worst. My heart was already beating rapidly inside my chest the closer I got to the room. My hands began trembling when I reached for the doorknob. Tears filled my eyes and the air surrounding me felt like it was becoming thick and suffocating as I twisted the knob. I finally swung the door open slowly. I was expecting to see Hina lying somewhere in the room, surrounded by her own blood.

“There you are.” I let out a giant sigh when I saw her sitting Indian style on the floor in the middle of the newly decorated baby with a miserable expression on her beautiful face. I wasn't happy to see her in pain, I was filled with joy because she hadn't attempted to take her life again. Most of all, I was happy because I still had my wife here with me. I knew As long as she was breathing air into her lungs we had a fighting chance to get through anything whether it was good or bad, big or small.

 “Come with me, honey.” Taking her by the left hand, I pulled her to her feet.

“Why?” She asked in a detached voice.

“There's something I need to show you downstairs,” I replied. 

“Can't you just bring whatever it is upstairs to me?”

“Yeah, I can, but I think that it would do you some good to get out of this room. I'm pretty sure you've been sitting in here for quite some time today, stressing over not having a baby yet.”

“Ren, you don't have to be worried about me being depressed to the point of harming myself every time you leave the house. I promised you that I wouldn't try anything like that again, and I'm determined to keep it. Will you allow me just a few more minutes to sit here and daydream about the lovely family you and I will one day have?”

“Sure, I'll be right back,” I replied, pushing a stray strand of hair out of her face and tucking it behind her left ear.

As soon as I walked out of the room, I fell on my knees and let my tears of happiness fall freely from my eyes.  I cried so much that it felt like something broke inside of me, which made me feel like a grown man who had no control over his emotions. I don't know how I let my marriage get to this point; therefore, I don't know what I need to do to fix it. “Was being born with wealth, having loving parents, finding a remarkable wife, and having the house with the white picket fence a curse? Is trying to give my wife the adorable daughter or the handsome son she wants being too greedy? Did I unknowingly cause Hina to fall into the painful and miserable state she's in when I expressed to her that I too was ready to start a family a year ago?”