The Little Scared Girl.

I Want To Breathe Again.

So here's a new day of my life, while walking towards school I don't know what made me so lonely or curious that I sat on a bench near by took out my diary and started writing ...

Every night same thoughts keeps popping in my head that in some cases why it's really hard to overcome your past, people say nothing is impossible..
People even say more often that if you really want something try hard for that and it will be yours but why this statement doesn't set for those examples in which we don't really want something instead we just want to forget something ; just want to forget our past ...

Forgetting past is like throwing a rock in a space .... where it will keep its flow motion and will never reach to an end ..... to any destination .. it will just keep on flowing ...

Your past will keep haunting you till you take your last breathe, Now the question rise in my mind is when will be our last breathe .. when this pain will end ... will it happen after we are gone; like really gone mean Dead or still it's gonna keep haunting us even after we are gone again means Dead ... lying in grave ?

I don't know thinking like this is wrong or right but I can't help myself, these thoughts just won't stop coming in my mind ..

That's how I spend my nights or you can say midnights nowadays ... but if I talk about my mornings they are thrilling actually cause everytime I wake up it's his voice all over my head as if he's infront me asking me same question...

Hey miss are you alright ?

Same thing happened to me this morning.
Ahhhhh .... I don't know why but his voice; I can't forget his voice; his tone, when he said

Hey miss

Ohh GOD!! Please just make me forget his voice .. or just let me see this man once again ...
And then I am like What The Fishhh! ! What am I praying for ... he's just an ordinary guy like me and someone's voice can not effect me that much ..

Urghhhh...
I expressed while closing my diary and puting in my bag in a rush.. stood up and keep walking again..

Alex ... wait ?
A voice from my back ... as I turned here we go again ... it was Jackson.

Hey Jacky.
I replied while giving him a high five.

Wait .. Jacky ? Where did this came from ?
He asked amused,

I just made that up, why don't you like it? It kinda suited you Jacky from Jackson.... ahmmm right?
I replied as I wanted to make a mood.

I don't know but hey if you like then I am ok with this nick names lol.
He replied cutely.

By the way you are following me because?
I asked.

Following you?
He became shy... and added ..
No I was ... actually that you left in rush making kinda sad or emotional scene so I... I just wanted to know that how you are holding up? Can I help?
He asked while his eyes staring ground ..

And here we go he talked about that dayyy .... which again made me remember about that guy ...

Hey miss....
Can I help you?
Ahhhhh ..

Urghhhhh not againnn ..
I said with an irritable expression..

What? What again ?
Jackson asked.

Nothing Jackson .. I just don't wanna talk about that day..
I just don't. ..
I replied ..
And I am ok so everyone please stop asking me that how am I holding up ok?
I added ..