Unsaid Desires

Nimrit's pov:

It's been more than 7 days that he has returned back to the house. I know what happened a week before wasn't good but he told me that he will comeback for me. There wasn't a single instance in all these days when I haven't missed him. I tried not to but I couldn't resist myself. I missed his way of talking, I missed his hugs, I slept placing his cap beside me and even used his mug for taking tea. I don't know why I did all these things. He is just a friend whom I met in this house only. But is he really just a friend or someone else? I haven't felt this kind of weird feeling in all these years. I haven't waited for someone so desperately like I have waited for him. It feels like he has become my center of gravity. But when he came back, he looked different. He wasn't the same person with whom I lived 85 days of my life. He hugged every single person in the house except me. He didn't even look into my eyes. I understood, he isn't the same person whom I lov...

I closed my eyes in denial. This can't be possible. I shouldn't even dare to think about this. This is wrong, this fckin feeling is absolutely wrong. I can't have these kinds of feelings for a 19 years old. What will people think about me? But why am I not able to control these feelings? Why do I only want to hug him and no one else in this house? I believe that he doesn't even think about me now. But he is also correct at his place. I was the one who told him that I have a boyfriend outside waiting for me (that isn't even true). I lied to him because I myself was confused of my feelings for him. I know he loved me but does he love me anymore? I don't know but whenever he roams around me without even talking to me, it hurts, it really does. My mind says whatever happened for the betterment only but my heart still desires for him, craves for his hugs, and only wants to be with him 24x7. But why is it so? Is this really lo..? How I wish I could tell him what I am feeling for him. How his absence has affected me and how much I love him. Yes, it's true; I am in love with him. I felt that emptiness in my life when he was away. But now when he has come back, I'm still feeling that void. But I won't tell him what I am feeling for him. I'll just keep these things to myself only and try to move on but I'll never ever forget him in my life because he is the only person who didn't judge me and showered his love and affection on me without expecting anything.

A lone tear rolled down her eyes. She got up from her bed just to see his face before sleeping. The innocence once he had on his face was lost. She looked at him continuously for few minutes and then went back to sleep on her bed with all these thoughts that were messing around in her mind.

Abdu's pov :

It's been so many days that I have come back to this house but things have been changed. I'm not behaving like that same person that I was till her birthday. But when I wasn't in the house, I saw her missing me all the time. I didn't miss a single clip of her mentioning about me. I saw her wearing my cap. But I didn't get it that why is she doing all these things. She doesn't love me. She just considers me a friend of her. And she has a boyfriend outside(whatever). When i entered the house, she quickly ran towards me to hug me. There were tears of happiness in her eyes after seeing me. But, I didn't reciprocate to her gesture and didn't even look into her eyes. I knew if i would have looked into them, I would have forgotten everything that i had decided in those 7 days when I was out. I hugged every single person in the house but not her. I know i did hurt her. She was just looking at me with a smiling face but her eyes were telling something else. She understood that I'm ignoring her. She didn't say anything and went to her room. I know i was being a jerk on that day and literally snatched her happiness from her. But i believe that it was necessary for her and myself too. She thinks that I have changed and I'm not that same person anymore who loved her a lot. But she doesn't know that I still love her, i want to hug her every fckin time when i see her, i just want to roam around her all the time. Only my heart knows that how i'm dealing with this situation. It's so difficult for me to ignore her. How should I tell her that i feel insecure when i see her with shiv bro. She has started spending time with other people in the house but some how i believe that she still misses me. Her condition is also similar to me. But now we are bound with restrictions. Although i don't talk to her properly these days but my eyes are always on her. I still care whether she is eating her food or not but i can't tell all these things to her now. I know i'm hurting her and myself but it's good for both of us. We aren't destined to be together. So it's better to move on.

But how should i make my heart understand all these things that still misses her presence. It's so difficult to control the feelings that i have for her. I should understand that she can't be mine.

With this thought, he tried to sleep but couldn't. So he got up from his bed and went near her bed to see her face. Her face was wet with tears. He slowly went near her ear and whispered I love you Nimmi, will always do and i'm sorry that i hurt you. Saying this he went back to his bed and slept with a heavy heart.