The page of a diary!

This is a page of my diary, it's a short text but I felt like sharing it, it's not much but I don't want uncomfortable comments on this but feel free to share what you thought of the idea. Also, the dates and hours are just random ones. Btw, yes it's kinda cheesy but for what it works.

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Dear Diary,                            4.12

for some random fucking reason, while I was scrolling over TikTok, I watched a video that turned out to be more specific than I noticed at first. I remembered a thing that happened a few weeks ago, on 15/10*. A couple of days before that date, M (let's call him M) and I talked through Snap and asked if we could hang out as a joke, but then he asked if we could hang out after his game on that* specific day. I said yes, but I told him that I didn't know for sure if I could come since my family sometimes has plans to go out or something and I didn't know most of the time. The day came by, and everything went just fine the days prior, so we talked through Snap and went to school like it was nothing (which I think it was for him but who knows), but when I woke up that morning it was really cold so I was planning on not going, eventually I got up and when I looked at the time in the nightstand was already past 12:30h and M's game was at 13:00. I hadn't eaten anything yet and there was no way I could get to the game in the time since I had to take the bus and the train so it would take me about an hour to get there, there was simply no way I was going just to hang out with M and not even know how the game went. So, I didn't go to the game which quite logically meant we didn't hang out that day. But the thing is, I was thinking about this because of the video, 'cause what would have happened if  I went to the game? I don't know, would we be closer or hold hands again?  Would his brother be there in some way? Would anyone care about it? Would we be more picked on by the boys in our classes? I keep wondering about it, and there are many possibilities for the end result. And now, since I was talking about it, I remembered that a girl from my Spanish class didn't tell me anything about the conversation we had in the prior Spanish class we had about him liking someone. It's stupid really, but I'm not jealous or anything like that, she was the one bringing it up by asking me if M liked me or something. I specifically told her that I didn't know and that if she wanted to know she should ask him. A totally normal conversation between girls as usual, but then she went: "Yeah, but I think he likes me." And I quite like her, she's a nice girl, but in my head, I was like: "Then why'd you ask?" She then said something like she would tell me if he liked her or not when she found out, but haven't heard anything about that from her. I guess I'll never know! Sad really, but M's a bit mysterious tho. 

                  Love, me <3

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I've always loved to write, and now when my head became too much to keep everything in I started to write a mini diary that has helped me a lot through the bad and stressful days I've been through, so if you're going through a hard time, just try to write, but for weeks. Don't do a day of writing and say it doesn't work so you stop, that does not help you in any way. Give it time and if after a few weeks, the diary doesn't help then try something that you like to keep everything that goes inside your head there in some way. Do poetry, write stories, draw, paint, create music, do whatever you like the most, and transmit your emotions in that thing. Try to not lose yourself.