Insane

Insanity

HOW TO MAINTAIN A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY: THE CHARMINGNOTION WAY.

1. When someone speaks to you, no matter what they say, reply with "That's all very well, but what are we going to do about him?" as you gesture to whoever in the vicinity happens to be eating a pie.

2. While shopping, hold something up to yourself and say, "Does this make me look dead?" Count how many people stare at you.

3. Order a sugar-free, non-fat water at Starbucks.

4. When meeting someone for the first time, say "IIIIIII am Adolfo Pirelli, the king of the barbers, the barber of kings!" and count how long it takes for them to run away.

5. Visit someone's FanFiction profile and laugh manically as you realize that they're more obsessed than you.

6. Whenever someone disagrees with you, shout in their face "THIS IS SPARTA!".

7. Sing "The Johnny Depp Song" in front of your parents right before they ground you. You'll get out of whatever the problem you had before was.

8. If someone is arguing with you and they're winning, just tell them to go fuck a duck.

9. Run around the street your house is on yelling at the top of your lungs, "I'M A VAMPIRE! I'M A VAMPIRE! I'M A VAMPIRE!" and see how many people videotape you.

10. Insist that everyone address you as "Agent 57".

11. When at school, open your backpack from time to time and glance in saying, "Got enough air in there, Wallace?"

12. If someone is particularly annoying you, tell them you'll get them a nice tot of gin if they leave you alone.

13. When you're standing in line in an otherwise empty store or fast food restaurant, shoot a rubberband at the back of the person's head who is in front of you, then pretend you didn't do it.

14. Point at a poster of Justin Bieber and scream, "DUDE LOOKS LIKE A LADY!" and see if anyone applauds you.

15. Whenever someone mentions sea bass, ask if they are ill-tempered and put your pinky finger to your mouth.