The Milk Slinger

     You know how some people just don't know when enough is enough? They just keep crossing one line after another. They'll do one thing that you think is utterly insane but then a week later do something three times as worse. This is exactly what happened at work recently and it is to this day, the most insane event that has happened at my job.

     For some background, I work as a cashier at a grocery store in my town. You know those people in the front end of the store near the entrance that use the little conveyor belt to scan the food items? Yea, that's me. I haven't even been working at the establishment for a year, so I was surprised when this whole crazy thing happened, as even some of my coworkers who have worked there for five plus years say that nothing this nuts has EVER happened. Anyways, I'll give you the story on when it all started.
   The whole situation that I'm about to share with you isn't actually one singular event, rather a series of events leading up to one final 'climax' that was the last straw for all of us.
   It all started about two months ago in the fall of 2022. It was Friday night and I was scheduled to close with one other coworker along with the closing manager. Rather than manning one of the registers, I would be watching over self-checkout that evening, so I kind of looked forward to my shift, though it would still be monotonous. I just find self-checkout more 'free' feeling than a register, mostly because I can at least walk around, whereas on a register I was often chain-bound by the eyes of my supervisor to my register, waiting for the next customer.
   Anyways, the time was close to 10pm. There were probably no more than 5 customers in the store this late at night, so I grabbed the cleaning supplies to begin mopping the floors between the checkout registers. The other coworker closing that night, we'll call him Larry, was manning register 1; the main register I guess you could call it, while I cleaned and the manager closing that night, who we'll call Rebecca was in the cash office doing whatever.
   I was focused in on mopping. The typical grocery store playlist was blaring obnoxiously from the overhead speakers, with the occasional coupon promotion being advertised by the female robot voice. You know, the ones that go like "save 10% on all deli deals, when you apply for the MVP card" and stuff like that. I'm sure you know what I'm talking about.
   Anyways, I was at the point of wrapping up mopping the registers when I heard the sound of the overly squeaky sliding doors open, followed by the sight of a scrawny man in his mid-30's round the corner. He wore a dirty pair of united hightop converse shoes, with black skinny jeans with rips in them, revealing his scrawny, hairy legs. On his torso he had on an army green denim jacket, with an extremely high collar. Kind of like the collar the fictional character 'Dracula' had on his cape outfit. He had a buzz cut with a bunch of patchy spots on it and a messy, untrimmed beard, which I guess you could say was more of a '5am stubble.'
   Next, he marched up to the customer service counter and rang the bell repeatedly, over and over again.
"Well, HeLlO?" He shouted. "Who's gonna help me."
   I just stood there, half mopping, half watching customer service, fully expecting Rebecca to come out of that office to help the man. A minute passed and she still hadn't come out and the man was growing more and more irritable, so I rushed over to see what he needed. Larry was semi-new working there, so he wasn't yet qualified to help with customer service. He just stood at the end of his register, awkwardly.
"Sorry for the wait, what can I help you with sir?" I said, politely.
   The man didn't say anything yet. He instead, pulled out an airhead candy from his jeans pocket and began eating it, all whilst staring me down in the eyes.
"Bro, you good?" I asked him.
   He still didn't say anything, just continued eating his airhead. I could tell he was getting more and more angry however. I could see it on his face. It was late and I had to finish cleaning before I could go home and this dude's games were not what I wanted to put up with at that moment.
"Sir, if you don't need anything then please leave customer service and go do what you need to do. I don't have all night." I stated, firmly.
   Just then the man finished his airhead. He FINALLY said something as well.
"Oh.....Oh, oh.....Oh ho ho! I need something alright." He said. His voice was high and raspy, but also full of energy and enthusiasm. "I'll take the pumpkin spice milk."
"The what?" I replied.
   I pretended I didn't know what the man was talking about, when in reality I knew exactly what it was. The pumpkin spice milk was a new item we were carrying in our store this fall, though it wasn't yet for sale on the shelf during the time this took place.
   I'm not gonna lie. This guy was weird and I genuinely didn't feel like pretending like I was gonna go search for the milk. The man then stated his request again.
"I need pumpkin spice milk." He repeated.
"Here, I would have no idea if we carry it or not. Let me ask one of the stockers." I told the guy.
"Oh, I know you guys have it. I know you do!" He was getting furious now.
"One sec sir! I'll see if someone can bring a gallon up to the front." I replied.
   I spoke into my headset mic and asked if anyone in the back knew if we were carrying the pumpkin spice milk, even though I already knew the answer. I knew we had it in stock in the back, but the stocking / dairy managers did NOT like letting people, even the employees purchase any item before it was on the shelf.
   As expected, the stocking manager, who we'll call Mike, said in a stern voice that we had it in the back, but that no one could have it until next Tuesday, when it would be put on the shelf. I simply told the customer we didn't have it.
"What do you mean you don't have it?!" He stated. "I know you do!" He pointed his bony finger at me, furiously.
"Sir, we seriously don't. But if you come back here in a week or so we should have it on the shelves." I replied.
"So you're saying it's in the store?" He said, quieting his voice. Before I could answer however, he jumped to a conclusion. "I KNEW IT!! I knew it all along! The pumpkin spice milk is in the stoooooooore!" He shouted.
   Just then, Rebecca emerged from the office, drawn out by the man's yelling.
"What's going on?!" She demanded.
"One sec! I'll be right back. The pumpkin spice milk is in my future." The man said, as he ran out of the store.
   All three of us were confused, but also relieved. We were just hoping he wouldn't return as we would be able to leave in about ten minutes. Unfortunately though, not 15 seconds later, the man re-emerged through the doors. He was now riding a bike.
"Sir! You can't be riding bikes in the store!" Rebecca shouted.
He didn't listen. He continued cruising through the store. The three of us working that night rushed into the office and watched the back of the store through the security cameras. The man weaved between aisles as he made his way to the employees only area in the back. He rode his bike through the doors! At least he was being safe, because he put on a helmet before riding. 25 seconds later and he bust back out through the doors and in his hand was nothing other than the pumpkin spice milk itself.
"FINALLY!" He shouted, maniacally. He hopped back onto his bike to make his escape.
"Here I goooooo." He announced.
   5 seconds later, Mike bust through the doors of the employees only area and chased after him.
"Get back here with my milk!" Mike shouted.
   Rebecca and I burst through the office door and ran to the front door to try and catch the man, but it was too late. He had already ridden his bike out of the store and into the night. Rebecca and I gave up on him, but Mike did not. He ran out of the store and into the parking lot.
"Come back or I'm calling the cops!" Mike yelled. I looked on the parking lot camera and witnessed Mike crazily dive into the bushes in frustration. He then came back inside. He was a mess. His short blond hair was wet and messy, as a result of diving in the bushes.
"I'll be in my office." He said, saying nothing else. Here is exactly what he looked like.