✅ The Last New Start [NaNoWriMo2021]

139. Family Ties

"I'll be back late tonight," Spike said, then slowly faded into silence in response to a cryptic gesture from Tess. "I've got a..." Then he turned to follow where she was looking, and understood what had caught her attention so effectively.

They were back at school now, and slowly settling into the rhythm of living together. A couple of their friends had finally realised they moved in together, and they'd faced the usual barrage of jokes and questions that any group of teenagers would have come up with. A lot of times, they would meet up after their last classes of the day to sort out how they were getting home. Sometimes Ffrances would offer to drive them home, if she was in the area for any reason, and somehow the routine had become that she would organise things with Tess, leaving Tess to tell Spike if they needed to catch the bus or not. Somehow, just having one decision off his plate seemed to always be a reason to smile. Tess was slowly coming to terms with the fact that the strong man she'd originally seen him as didn't really exist. But she was sure that she liked the real Spike even more.

Today, as students streamed towards the buses or the gates, Tess had stopped and was trying to look inconspicuous. There was a conversation she didn't want to interrupt; but her curiosity wouldn't let her go without knowing the conclusion. And Spike could understand that without saying anything.

It wasn't easy to see what Mindy was talking about, but she was making a lot of gestures. She was animated, and seemed kind of happy; but nervous as well, as she glanced around her. Maybe she was embarrassed about what she was saying and didn't think those words should be aired in a public space like this. Or maybe she was just nervous that some of her old clique might be listening, and she didn't want to be judged. But she was talking to Rachel, and the atmosphere didn't look as formal and awkward as it had been before the break. They were talking, and there seemed to be laughter there; maybe even chemistry between the two. Other people around them didn't interrupt the little chat; although when Chloe walked past she stopped to offer a smile and a wave. There was no kind of hostility there, and Tess wondered if how Chloe reacted on seeing them would have impacted Rachel's response.

It was hard to tell when she wasn't close to see what they were saying. But then Rachel took Mindy's hand as they walked away, and Tess couldn't see any other way to interpret that gesture.

"I think somebody got a date for Thursday," she said with a smile. And then she felt Spike's hand in hers, and felt her heart flutter. That was it; a date for the summer ball. Rachel and Mindy would be together; and Tess and Spike. She'd heard that Chloe might have found someone new too, but didn't want to tell her friends more until she was sure. But in the back of her mind, Tess wondered if she might have meant that she didn't know if Rachel would be insecure about being the only singleton in the group. Now that she'd seen those two together, maybe Chloe would introduce her date to all her friends as well. And Kim was trying to work out if she could bring Evan along. It was starting to look like everyone would have a date to the ball.

"You know, I feel bad I can't hold your hand all the way home," Spike said, a minute later.

"Silly boy," Tess said, and gave a brief smirk. "You need to hold onto Mommy's hand, I don't want you getting lost." It was a crazy thing to say; it was the kind of dumb thing that made her so mad whenever Gabby came out with something like that. But Spike had called her 'Mommy' without prompting a few times when she helped him with something, or took charge. And just like now, if she talked down to him like a kid his response would always be a blush and a smile that almost seemed wider than his head. He was over the moon just to hear her say that, and rather than trying to analyse his response Tess was determined that she would do her best to make him smile again. And, if she could admit it, she felt a warmth in her heart when she used words like that. Thinking that she could protect him, and that he looked up to her, awakened the maternal instincts that she hadn't even realised she had until a few months before. But now, she knew that those feelings had always been there deep inside her.

"I wish I could," he said. "But it's my gym night. Adam's on call tonight, not working but he needs to be able to get to Pine Ridge in ten minutes if they're understaffed. So he said he could give me an extra lesson. Test of endurance kind of thing."

"Oh, right," Tess said. She was a little disappointed, but she was proud to see that he was making a choice and sticking to it, doing what was right for him. And in a way that made it easier for her; she could ride with him on the bus to Pine Ridge, and then collect her next pack of diapers from the hospital pharmacy before heading home, knowing that Spike wouldn't be there to see what she was putting away. "Well, I can hold your hand until you get there, right?"

"Yes, Mommy," he said with a grin. He squeezed her hand as they walked into the park, and Tess couldn't think about anything but how happy she was to be there with him. Every second they spent together now was a priceless treasure that she wouldn't trade for anything.

"I think this isn't the way to the bus?" she said a few seconds later, realising that they were getting further from all the other kids heading home. Could he be intending to drag her to some secluded nook in the little woodland, where nobody could possibly see them. Tess's heart raced, hoping that his intentions were less than innocent today. It was unlikely, but something inside her wanted to hope that for once, Spike could find it in him to be the bad boy.

"Adam's picking me up," Spike said with a shrug. "He lives on Yancy Drive. I'm sure he won't mind giving you a ride too." But there was something in his voice. He was happy to be here, with her, that much was clear. But there was something else bothering him.

The next time Spike hesitated as they crossed the park, Tess tugged on his hand and turned him around, then pressed him back against the nearest tree. His hands automatically went to her waist, but she could see the uncertainty in his eyes. He wasn't sure what he should say, or what he should do.

"What's wrong?" she asked. "Sorry, but... I can tell something is bothering you. And if it's something I can fix, we should talk about it. A problem shared..."

"It's not something you can help with," he answered. He looked down, then up again. "Okay, I should share. But don't beat yourself up because there's nothing we can do. Right? I got a call this morning. From Walt."

"Is he threatening you? Is it related to–"

"No, listen. Walt is an addict. He doesn't know what he's doing. But he's still my brother, and I worry about him. He... he started drinking when Dad died. And then it got worse. My mum tried to stop him doing drugs, warn off the dealer, and that's... well, that went badly. I know Walt is probably a lost cause, but I don't want to give up on him. I won't cut him off. He's... the police released Duke. On bail until the trial. And he thought Walt turned him in. They've been fighting, and he's scared. I can only hope this will give Walt a push to clean himself up, but it's hard knowing that he's in trouble."

"Do the police know..." Tess started, and her mind was whirring already, trying to find a better solution. Walt was often violent when he was drunk, she knew that, so she didn't want him near Spike again. Maybe getting him into rehab with their mother would help. But she didn't know enough about the situation, and didn't have the leverage to make him agree to it. "Perhaps we could–"

"No," Spike interrupted.

"No?"

"No. I kind of... I knew what your reaction would be. You want me to be happy, so you want to do something to help. But right now there isn't anything to do. Trust me, I've thought about it. I even called the police, to ask if there was anything they could do. And there isn't. Walt can take care of himself, kind of. He's just mad with me. He'll get over it. And the threat from Duke will end if the police pick him up again, or when he's in jail. They're still confident about that. So the only thing to do it wait. This is one time when your habit of doing something about the problem doesn't help, because there's nothing we can do. It's in somebody else's hands now. Look, it will be sorted. I know that. You know that. But I also know that letting things happen will be hard for you. Maybe this is one time your cousin is right. You shouldn't try to take responsibility for everything that worries me."

"I can..." Tess mumbled, but she knew that he was right. This was something outside her control, and there was no place for her to help out. Well, not directly. "Okay. But I can still try to help you feel better about it. Right? A hug to take your mind off all the big scary worries."

"Yes, thank you. Because right now, that's the only thing you can do. And the only thing I need."