Shin Splints and Broken Hearts

Baby Steps - Part 1

"Mommy!" My precious four year old yelled from the hallway. "In here baby." I half yelled back. Her heart was so tender while mine was half broken. Her footsteps slowed from the running pace just outside my doorway. I sucked in a deep breath, forced a smile on my face and leaned back on the pillows.

"Hi sweet girl." "Hi Mommy!" She stopped at the edge of the bed and looked for my eyes. "Can I hug you?" Her voice was so sweet. "Oh yes, just be really careful of my leg, okay?" She nodded and climbed up, reaching for me. As she climbed I found her wrapping her arms around my neck. Next thing I knew I was practically squeezing her. The tears began as I rubbed her back.

"Does it hurt?" Sarah asked as she stared at my fiberglass encased leg, wide eyed. I blew out a small breath through my nose and met her eyes. "Some." Her eyes were sad. We hadn't yet told her that I'd miscarried her baby brother. I could only imagine her range of emotions. Dan and I had only found out yesterday and this morning, as grief threatened to drown me I went for a run. That's how I found myself at the orthopedics' office. A few stabs of pain ran up my leg reminding me of the shin splits I used to get. One of those stabs took me out, rendering my leg useless. Emotions ensconced me and I sat, letting the tears flow. Finally I called my husband and admitted my mistake, spilling everything out.

An hour later I was waiting to see my sports medicine doctor. He was gentle and kind, but minced no words telling me what I'd done. Apparently the last stab I felt was a tibial stress fracture that had given way to a full crack in my bone. No wonder I couldn't walk. At this point my only option was a full leg cast, for at least four weeks.

I'd picked a light blue cast to honor my boy, my son. He was so tiny, yet so formed.

By the time I could pull myself out of my depressed and distant state I looked up to see my husband in the doorway, watching us. He walked over and slid in beside Sarah, wrapping his arms around her.

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