The state that I'm in. (BEING EDITED)

unbelievable

Hello! Oh how I miss my Igcse girls! Thanks for the help girls xxx

Liam was such a sweetheart at the Billboard awards wasn't he?

***********************

"What do you mean, Niall?" I asked confused my eyebrows furrowed.

"I asked you for your number...I asked you to go out for some coffee and I asked if you had a boyfriend and you said no...but that's obviously not the case" he said loud enough for me to hear over the deafening music.

"I'm not lying Niall" I said angry at his explanation. I wasn't angry at him...I was angry at Harry. He doesn't want to be with me but doesn't want anyone else near me either. It's not that I want to be with anyone else at the moment but I should be able to make that decision on my own. And my question to him was crystal clear. He said he can't be with me at all, not now not ever so what the hell was he trying to prove to me...

" Valerie, come on ...he is standing two meters away from us...he has your name tattooed on his arm, it shows from under his shirt , he just said he came here to see you and when I asked how come he is here on campus so far away from home...he..he said his girlfriend works here and he pointed at you..." he said half smiling irony and disbelief written all over his face.

"That's a lie...Niall. We were together but not anymore. Actually he is the one who broke it off...I am not lying and I don't have a reason to" I said fuming. "Anyway...if you want to go grab a cup of coffee go ahead but if you think that I am lying don't bother" I said and walked the other way passing Harry on my way slightly pushing him on my way to the bar causing him to spill some of his beer, my body ready to explode from anger, not even looking at him, totally ignoring him although I could sense his eyes on me.

Rose caught on that something was up and followed me to the bar where she asked me what was wrong and I explained.

"He doesn't want to let go, Val, give him a break" she said and I protested.

"Then he shouldn't let go Rose. This is killing me. He wants me but he doesn't. He isn't my boyfriend but claims to be...I ...I ...I just..."

"Don't worry...I'll explain to Niall...he'll understand...by the way I'm going home soon sweetie" she said and moved towards their table.

I continued with my work but refused to return to the table. I didn't even turn my eyes to them. I was so angry that I felt my jaws ache. I hadn't realized how tense I was...I went up to Dan and asked for a cigarette from the packet he had always hidden behind the bottle of tequila.

"Trouble sugar?" he asked already knowing the answer and I nodded. He opened the packet and took out two cigarettes and handed them to me. "Take your break now sweetie...you look like you need one" he continued and poured me a shot of tequila to take with me. "Come on... take that with you doll...enjoy" he winked at me and I nodded once more in appreciation. Dan and I weren't close friends but we liked each other because we never gave each other trouble like other waitresses did. I did my work and he did his and whenever I had the time I would help him out although it wasn't in my duties and he was grateful for that. So now that is what I needed. Someone who didn't talk much and gave me what I needed.

I went past the kitchen grabbing a lighter from there and went back in the alley where we usually had our breaks especially those who wanted to smoke or make out. I sat on the damaged chipped wooden bench and put one cigarette in my mouth leaving the other on the side. I lit it and inhaled the smoke hungrily. I had smoked in the past, it wasn't a big deal but I kind of craved it at the moment. As if the smoke would dissolve all the thoughts and worries going through my mind. I blew the smoke away and closed my eyes leaning back trying to absorb the pleasure and dizziness the camel lights were giving me. With my eyes still closed I had another drag and I felt ash burning my fingers for an instant so I instinctively opened my eyes only to find someone standing over me eyes burning.