Give Me Love

Prologue.

I slip off my nightcap and look into the mirror. My dull brown hair has now started to lighten into the warm colour of a chestnut. The effects of the warming sun and me stealing a few hours in the garden without a parasol or mothers consent. Only when I am feeling especially daring though. Mother seems to have enough reasons to resent me, no need to give her another one.

I sit down and start brushing my hair. For a while I sit in-front of my mirror and stare into the icy blue eyes of a stranger. I try to figure out who I see in front of me but I see no resemblance to the timid, shy girl afraid to even breathe too loudly for fear of her mother. Instead I see a woman. A woman in love.

I rise from the chair and study instead what I am wearing, a cerulean coloured nightgown. Mother would kill me if she saw me in this. The almost see-through, sheer material leaves little to the imagination and the white lace trimming running around the hem and the neck, my favourite part. It stops just shy of my ankles and thin straps wrapping around my shoulders leave my arms bare to the unforgiving cold I am expecting outside. I grab hold of my lantern and start to make my way into the night.

As expected the summer chill of the night bites at my exposed flesh. The lantern is the only source of light and warmth in the silent, void of the night. I wait, entertaining myself with my breath as it becomes visible due to the cold.

Then I feel him.

He wraps his arms around my waist from behind and I let him indulge me with his warmth. His crisp smell fills the air around me and I feel myself breathing it in. He tucks his nose into the crook of my neck and inhales.

"I missed you." His breath fogs up the air around me. I turn around in his arms and stare longingly into his strikingly turquoise eyes. I muster up all the courage I can find and push myself away from him. This wasn't good. I was losing again.

"What's wrong?" Confusion and hurt pool into his eyes and I force myself to look anywhere but in them. They tempt me too much.

"You need to tell me," I finally spoke.
"I need to kn-"

"No."

"Please you need to tell me." I begged him.

"I can't, stop asking."
His eyes glazed over. A desperation, almost as if he was begging me, filled his facial features.

I paused in my interrogation, never before had I seen him look so vulnerable, his eyes shining with unshed tears.

"Please don't make go through it again. I can't do it again." He was pleaded. He was pleading with me. He fell to the floor, landing on his knees.

"Please don't take her from me again."

I hurried to kneel by his side, getting over my moment of shock.

"What is it my love? You must tell me what is ailing you." I stroked his cheek faintly with the back of my hand and gazed at the sole, lonely tear that fell from his eye. Lifting his head up he opened his eyes I saw a new resolve in them.

I could feel the heat of his gaze as I finally looked up to meet his eyes with my own. His eyes wandered down my face studying every inch of my skin as if memorizing it before finally landing on my lips. My eyes widened. We had been intimate with words and in embraces before but never like... that. He'd never even allowed me to touch his face. He stared at my lips for a second more before wandering back up to my eyes. His eyes held a question almost as if he were asking for permission. I moved my head an almost invisible fraction.
Yes.

He moved so close to my face I was sure I breathing the air he blew out. By now we were both on the verge of panting. But as if even that distance was too far, he somehow shifted even closer, his breath spreading over my face and finally set himself free of all restraint.

He picked me up by my elbows and guided me until my back was pushed against the wall of the house. He cupped my face and I lent my head into his hand. He kissed my forehead travelling down to my nose, as light as a feather, barely grazing my skin he inched closer and closer to his goal. Once he got to my cheek he started placing the smallest and lightest of kisses along my jaw, my eyes fluttering to a close in fulfilment and anticipation. He finally grazed his lips against mine and I let out a gasp at the light touch. He pulled his face away from mine and I almost whimpered. I opened my eyes to find him already staring into mine with an incredible intensity.

"Pleas-" I didn't get to finish as his lips were already on mine. He brought his hand back up to caress my face before placing one on my waist. I could feel his warmth spread through the sheer fabric and onto my skin. I shivered into the kiss. His lips never left mine for a second. He caressed them at first at a slow pace and I followed his steps, still unsure.

I felt drops of water fall onto my face and couldn't care less if it was raining. Then he increased the tempo as he pressed me even further against the wall dropping the hand from my face to go around to the small of my back, whilst I gripped at the fabric around his chest.

Then I felt it. The darkness. Taking over me. I couldn't breathe. I stumbled away from him gasping for air.

"W-w-what's h-happening?" I struggled to speak out. I looked over at him and saw the tears cascading down his face. It wasn't raining. He reached me in a stride and caught me before I could fall and lay me in his lap. It felt like I was drowning. I could feel my lungs being squeezed and my heart struggling to continue beating. By now I was fighting with every inch of my being to keep my life. I didn't realise then that the battle was already lost. My death had been decided before my birth.

He placed a kiss on my forehead, before resting his on it and let a sob escape his lips, repeating the same words over and over. I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry. I love you. I'm so sorry.

I stayed there gasping as he looked toward the sky, still whispering to himself.

"Please. Please, not again." Even as my heart gave up he continued whispering. Even as the darkness started gnawing on my body, consuming it, he kept on whispering. Even when there was nothing left of me he kept on whispering.

Only when he saw that the darkness had left something, rejected it like poison, did he stop whispering. He gazed at the necklace that he had given to her, that bore their names intertwined with each other in the most delicate craftsmanship with the most ethereal looking silver, and he finally felt something other than loss and emptiness. There in their names he felt hope. Hope for him and her.

Amor & Psyche.