A/N: this part is just my coping mechanism, i still love Jenna with my whole heart
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So that was it. You wanted to be in denial for a while but for what? You broke up, as simple as that. You wanted it to happen for the longest time but now you had second thoughts.
You thought you would feel relived, happy, free and less stressed, overwhelmed and some sort of way, you did. But at the same time, you didn't want believe that it's over.
You had serious plans with her. You were talking about moving in together. You wanted to spend the rest of your life with Jenna. She even asked for your ring size four days before the breakup.
'I don't like wearing rings' you simply said, ignoring her question. You just wanted the conversation to end. It didn't feel right. Not at all.
You loved her more than anything, more than words could describe. You still do but love alone isn't enough for a relationship. It takes so much more than that.
You tried everything you could to accept her the way she is, with all her flaws and issues. You tolerated a lot of shit, you ignored the red flags, you made up excuses for her behavior but one day, you got tired of it.
You got tired of the gaslighting, the manipulation. You got tired of the pointless arguments, the drama, the accusations.
To tell the truth, you broke up a lot, at least twice a month but this time, you knew it was final. It was officially over. It broke you. It fully destroyed you but deep down you knew you did the right thing. You had to put yourself and your mental health first. It was time for you to realize that Jenna is not good for you.
The worst part wasn't the break up. It was that she hated you. She hated you because she couldn't manipulate you anymore. You didn't let her. You made up your mind and left.
It took everything in you to not text her and undo do whole thing. It took everything in you to not call her. But you deserved better. So much better.
You didn't deserve someone who treated you like a piece of garbage. Who ignored your well being, your needs. Who only cared for herself. Who brought you down with her bad attitude. No, you didn't deserve that.
You weren't one to keep dealing with the shit that she put you through.
Your closest friends were beyond happy that it was over for good.
'I'm proud of you, girl.'
'I'm so glad it's over with Jenna.'
'Sadly, she didn't know how to treat you right.'
'I think she should see a therapist before she starts seeing someone else.'
'Good, you don't need such a narcissist in your life.'
'Everyone has their problems but that one right there.. you dodged a bullet, bestie.'
'THANK GOD, she was a psychopath, legit fucked in the brain.'
'Cool, block her on everything now.'
'Good job at choosing your girlfriends...'
'I love to wake up to such good news.'
'I wish I could be there with you to celebrate.'
They said.
One thing was for sure, maybe you didn't know how to choose the right girl for you but hell, you knew how to surround yourself with the best of friends.
You ugly cried constantly for the next two days after your break, you barley ate anything. You just wanted to be alone, you were way too numb and depressed to socialize but letting her go was the right decision. You tried to help her, you tried to be there for her as you promised in the beginning of your relationship but it got too much to handle.
You just couldn't carry on like everything was fine.
She questioned you and your feelings. She said you never loved her in the first place and you just wasted her time. You wasted two years of her life. It wasn't true. You genuinely wanted it to work. You gave her a lot of chances to change or at least try a little bit more. Be a little bit better as a person, as a girlfriend. She didn't care and now she's blaming you.
She was your whole world. You were the happiest that she was in your life but you wanted to live not just survive.
