Broken

INTRO

The freedom I have been craving immensely has now been handed to me but it's torture at the same fucking time. I have no one. I have been dying inside ripped to shreds inside and out I've tried to kill myself countless times. I was guilty of murder of my family. What they don't know is being in the "crazy house" only makes you more crazy, take it from the one who has been in one for 5 years for no rational reason better yet for no reason. I would rather cut my self a thousand times rather then live a lie of killing my own flesh and blood. I would have sacrificed anything for my parents and siblings they were the only ones I had and who believed in me. I wonder what the fuck am I living for I have no one I have now managed to convince my mind that I'm fucking crazy. WHAT AM I DOING. What did I do wrong. I blame myself for being so stupid for fucking staying on this god damn hell hole called a fucking world. Truth is everyone is Insane we all have went insane once just some let it out more often then others. I'm half sane the other not some much. I've become quite the hot shot now to the public. My first fucking Interview is tomorrow on the today show. I want to die believe me I loathe for it but I promised my mom I'd make the best of what I had she always pushed me and I know she still is and now I'm going to push myself I don't want to be weak and vulnerable so I'm going to pretend to be fine it's better to be fine. I'll be fine for my family or just attempt to. I don't want to be the last of the Brennan family I want to show my mom I'm better then that and I'm going to try. " HONEY YOU HAVE THE WHOLE WORLD IN YOUR HANDS MAKE THE BEST OF IT IM NOT GOING TO BE HERE FOREVER BUT ILL ALWAYS BE HERE FOR YOU". Those were the beautiful words of my mother. " OK MOM I'LL TRY". I attend to keep that promise.