_JAKEHOON ONESHOTS.

paralysed.

TW: depression, self-hatred, suicidal thoughts, implied self-harm, emotional hurt/ comfort.

Numb. Useless. Empty.

The dirtied mirror fogged up with the heavy breaths Sunghoon had been huffing out for hours on end, the dull lighting in his little studio apartment flickering like an endless timebomb. Vision blurred, and everything was unfocused and dark in the tight space. His mouth was dry, his voice too strained to utter a single word as his mind raced and yelled.

Dirty sink.

A stuttered breath filled in the emptiness of the dim bathroom as Sunghoon looked up at the flickering light, hoping the bothersome tears would leave...leave and never come back. His dark eyes fluttered open and closed, hating how the saltiness from his shed tears has reached the side of his neck and his quivering lips.

"Useless idiot, you can't even control your own stupid tears," he chuckled, voice hoarse and cracking as he averted his gaze back to the mirror. He wanted to punch the mirror, wanted to break it into pieces and never look at his reflection ever again.

"Worthless idiot," chuckling, he wiped his stray tears with the bottom of his white shirt, "no one cares that you feel like this, you deserve to feel like this." the tears didn't stop and neither did the raven's hurtful words.

"You're such a disappointment, you can't even get a decent grade to make your mother happy, can't do shit to make her not ashamed, can you, idiot? You keep fucking up, you keep making it worse. She raised you, she sacrificed everything for you and all you can do is ruin her life?!"

A loud thud erupted from the bathroom as the raven kicked the bottom of the sink, hitting the cabinet with full force, "You fucking asshole!"

Tears began to fall harder, his breathing became heavier and the whole room became more suffocating. The male knelt down, hitting his head against the bottom of the sink in pain, letting his body drop down onto the floor by the bathtub, "You're so fucking stupid, such a waste of air, why couldn't you just have been aborted? Why couldn't you be left to die alone, everyone would be so much happier without you as a deadweight on their shoulders."

He heaved, trashing his legs on the wooden floor, his hands automatically reaching out for his own hair, pulling it in hopes of stopping the tears that blurred his vision and stung his eyes, "

Cold floor.

Sunghoon felt smothered, the weight on his chest too heavy to breathe. He cried harder, the loud and wet sound of his scream echoing in the empty apartment. He was alone. He was away from everyone to who he was a nuisance.

He cried harder, hitting the back of his head against the tub with force, covering his face to not let the tears fall any further.

"Stupid fucking asshole!"

He cried and cried, his chest heaving in pain, all his breaths stuttered and rigid.

"I hate you, I hate you, I fucking hate your whole existence! Die! Die! DIE!" he screamed louder and louder, choking on his own tongue as his body hit the floor with a harsher thud, "You should just end it all here and now, no one would care, no one wants you here, they all pity you!"

Knock. Knock. Knock.

Sunghoon stilled, a harsher pain striking his chest as he sat up on the dirtied floor, eyes brimming with too many tears to focus on anything other than the flickering light above him.