Naiintindihan ko na (One Shot)

Naiintindihan ko na

--

Jonathan is calling..

What? Bakit siya tumatawag? That's unusual.

'Pag tap ko ng screen, automatic na palang naga-answer 'yun? Nagulat ako biglang nag-pop sa screen

Jonathan
00:03

End call

"Hello" -Jonathan

"Emm, Hello?"

"Hahaha! Hello" -Jonathan

"Bat ka tumawag?"

"Uhmm, wala lang" -Jonathan

Nakakagulat naman 'to. Buti wala akong kasama. Kung hindi, patay na talaga.

"Wait lang"

End

Wala kasi akong earphone. Ang lakas pa ng boses niya kahit hinaan ko. Saka maririnig nila ako, ang weird naman siguro at baka mapagkamalang may boyfriend ako. Dali-dali kong kinuha ang earphone ko sa kabilang bahay, nasa bahay kasi ako ng tita ko.

I know you're wondering who's Jonathan, I'm not really sure who he is in my life, actually. Well, I'm in love with him since 1st Year. Alam ko, masyado pang bata. That time I'm still not sure if I do love him but as time passed by, I figured, I do love him. We are total opposites most of the time. I'm selfless back then when he is not. He knows how to make himself happy, when I don't. He thinks only of himself not in a selfish way but in a good way, and I don't. I like pleasing and making people happy even if it means hurting myself. I always give them what they want, help them, do what they think is best for me, when he doesn't. He was once irritated, he told my best friend "Nakakainis siya! Puro iba nalang iniisip niya. Hindi niya ba iniisip yung sarili niya? 'Yung kahit hindi siya masaya okay lang basta masaya sila? Kanino bang buhay yun? Sakanila o sakaniya? Mas pipiliin niya pang maging masaya 'yung iba kahit nasasaktan siya." That's how selfless I am.

But everything changed. Dati kasi hindi talaga kami nagpapansinan, madrama man pero "Strangers with memories". Naging magkakilala, kakulitan at kaasaran, na in love, na-reject, became strangers, magkakaibigan, kakulitan at kaasaran, close, special friend, hanggang sa ito, ito na kami, hindi ko alam kung ano kami.

He keeps talking about our future, how I will be in his future and who I am in his future. To be honest I never include anyone in my future, only because I don't want to assume people will stay with me until the end. It's just something or some way to not get hurt. If I would talk about my plans in the nearest future that would be me, with the job I want, buy my a lot, build my own house, buy a car that is suitable for just me and nothing else. I'm not expecting something beautiful other than those. Because I'm planning to be alone. No husband or a child. That's because I'm used to being alone. I'm used to think other's first other than myself. And in the future, I'm planning on just thinking about myself but that would be hard for me so I'm erasing some important people in my life to fulfill my plans. Selfish? Sa future lang naman. Baka kasi pagod na ako ng mga time na yan. Maybe, it's time to let myself happy.

But since he came, everything changed like what I said. He made me feel loved. That I am worth every smiles that I give others. He made me feel there's nothing to be afraid of. That it's time to let myself out of the dark room I locked myself into. I learned how to care for my feelings. I learned how to make choices that will make me happy even if others might hate it. I learned that being happy is much better than getting used to feeling sad and lonely. And lastly, he made me happy.

*Chat

"Ayun. Hahahahaha!" -Jonathan

"Yeaaaa. Wala akong masabi. Hahahaha!"