At long last 2023 is finally here ! I'm terribly sorry that I haven't been updating to my art book , my lack of motivation has been hitting me hard last year and it continues to spill throughout January. I don't expect it to be gone overnight but hopefully by February I will have regained my motivation to draw and be my happy self again. I got a new sketchbook and I have some drawings to share ^^
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I won't lie , its been hard. Very hard. My mental health is slowly deteriorating and the divorce between my parents that happened two years ago didn't help at all. In a twisted irony , it was the thing to help me move on from my mental hospital trauma but like a ghost it continues to haunt me. Those bad choices , those harmful events still happened. No matter how much I cry and beg those good 2010 years won't come back.
I wish they did , I really wish I could go back and tell my younger self to cherish every moment with your friends and family and to make better choices for the sake of our future but without those choices I wouldn't have found my uncle and aunt , I wouldn't have met my friends in high school , and I wouldn't have been able to heal.
Sorry this was long , but call it a new year's resolution I suppose. Here are the goals I wish to go for
1. Keep improving my art and writing. No matter how much I hate what I make , I have to keep going. I have to chase my dream even when I'm tired and even when it seems hard. I can't quit , I've come so far. If not for me then for my friends who bought me art supplies in elementary school and for my younger self.
2. Move on from my trauma
No matter how many times I get knocked down I have to accept what has happened and move on. My dad and I are on rocky terms because of how he treats my mom like garbage. My sister is off to collage so she can't protect me. My mom is working her hardest for me and my siblings.
I won't let my depression and anxiety bring me down. I suffered too much to stop now. I came so far and have much healing to do. I don't know who needs to hear this but if you do then don't give up. It hurts , your tired , and you just want to close your eyes and let the world pass you by. Believe me , I have enough trauma in the bag as it is. No matter what tho. Don't. Stop. Fighting <3
