This starts at the tragic end of me putting in my headphones ,playing her favorite song then hurling myself off the cliff .
I'd always been the outcast to the system of society . She was exactly the same as me, we'd been friends for 9 years till I realized that I wanted to be far more than just friends with this girl.
I feel like I belong somewhere with her. She'd been my girlfriend since we were in the ninth grade.
I remember seeing her face in mid autumn as the colour of her hazel eyes had been more radiant than the amber colour of the warm gold trees. At the moment I felt the hairs in on my head and felt every second that went by. There she was ,what seemed to be my perception of perfect had been slowly unraveling in front of my eyes. As she edged closer to me I noticed that the flaws I imagined had slowly been disappearing. Her skin had been so smooth that one could notice the wind bouncing off her face. Her figure not even the best sculptures could embed. Her hair flowed deeper than any part of the ocean. Boy oh boy, was I lightning struck not only by her beauty but by the way we had cerebral conversations , each one of our souls speaking volumes louder than the other. My approach was subtle just five words had seem to be enough :" meet me by the lake." she agreed and off I went into the abis of the outer school world.
I had realized I hadn't given her the time so I'd been waiting for her at the lake for about three hours from three. Finally she arrived and there she was wearing that orange sun dress of hers along with her denim black jacket and a picnic basket along with a blanket.
The setting sun had been doing all the talking as the pink, red and orange colours danced across the evening horizon . We haven't said a single word to each other just sitting here staring and smiling at each other like watching a romance movie on the TV. It's night now we're speaking about the constellations rolled across the stars similar to the weed rolled in our fingers. Now we're high laughing and kissing under the eyes of the ever expanding universe. It's fairly , late street lights laminate our path like we're hoping through the night time streets of fire. I've never loved loved like this before, the happiness she causes me feeds on the darkness within the confides of my skull as a carnivore would eat it's prey. We sneak into her daddies cigar lounge and lay upside down on two big single couches.My lips don't want to depart from hers it's like being hooked onto a life support machine needing something to stay alive. We're sleeping on her father's antique bear rug, I'm fast asleep when she leaves . I feel wet stains on my heart and a feeling of a disturbing anxiety and shot awake at 3:36 am and realized the most important thing I knew had left. I knew something was wrong when I saw a envelope with the words 'my eternity written on. The letter inside read: " To the oxygen to my lungs, the planets and stars in my universe , the protons, neutrons and electrons of my atom. I hate myself for doing this too you but I have to end it , the suffering and the pain of the anti-matter which my heart causes me. I couldn't take the constant pressure of the anxiety , it shouts and screams at me always confusing me making me scared. You took all the torture and voices away , you made me feel safe when the sun and moon seemed dark. But I couldn't live without you and didn't want my demons to harm the point of my life, you. So I'm leaving to a place the voices don't bother me ,I'm ending it forever. Goodbye le petite moort, till the next eternity we spend together." As i read the the final words of my love , I felt my insides burn into eternal nothingness , into a ever consuming void . I'm searching for her yet find nothing in her house and rush to the place we last spent hours together, the lake. I'm running now, I haven't felt so scared so intimidated by death. 3 kilometers speeding into the park , I see her body laying within full view of the lake and constellations. Relief hits me like a boulder but the effect of the boulders hit is terrifying as I speed to her lifeless carcass I realize that her body was too still too be a living organism. I'm staring at her lifeless body laying on a picnic blanket next to a picture she took of us earlier. Reality seems too sinister to be a actual possibility. I feel aimless , like the universe has turned all odds against me and the gods are experimenting on my tortured spirit. She still looks perfect even in her after life . So it's dark now and I'm running following my broken consciousness to a place unknown to me myself. I'm not crying , I just don't cry although I feel twisted and dead myself. I'm at a high cliff , high but not too far from the bottom in terms of sight. I'm at the edge staring down the cliff already knowing what my decision was how to would escape my joke of a romance book, the treacherous ferocious reality of my life. I put in my earphones and listen to her favorite song then lifelessly throw my body down the cliff . I'm falling time going so slow it's almost frozen, I'm thinking through my life now just her on my mind , I'm smiling thinking of the times we've had together , how I loved her o so much, and how I'd be together with her for the rest of my afterlife eternity. I'm quater way down I'm staring at the stars as the start changing color and dancing in various motions. I'm half way down when I look up at the edge of the cliff I see a figure . A figure I'd be able to identify even if it were burnt to ashes. I see the figure of my one and only true love staring down as I continuing falling to my death . And I'm twenty seconds down from the ground I've kept a eye contact with her she's just staring at me I gather every aspect of her expression , she showing open anger and hatred on her perfect face. Ten seconds till my death , I'm so shocked I've forgotten about my fall. Many people think they know what being at the lowest point in their life I laugh at them now knowing they can't even begin to imagine low , im just purely beaten. I hit the ground and feel every bone in my body break, excruciating pain as I land on the right side of my body , my body pains from left too right. I feel dead , like a thousand rocks feel on me and smothered me completely. But it's not the fall that leaves me feeling that pain, it was the feeling of being set up by the one I loved with my entire future , past and present. But just one part doesn't add up, I'm not dead yet...
