Calling the Shots

The Escalation

She wasn't in control of herself. How could that escalate so fast? Was one of the two things she could think about. The other was the person whose blood now covered her hands. She looked over and saw Carisi talking to a uniformed officer. Then looked down and saw the man whom she had grown close to, Rafael Barba. His vest was now turning the god awful color of crimson, and his eyes flickered open and shut.
"Liv" he spoke barely above a whisper
"Hey Rafael I'm here. Keep your eyes open for me" His eyes started to close "Please." And his beautiful green eyes fluttered open again.
"That's it Rafael keep them open" Olivia cooed
"Liv-" he spoke fragile and fragmented " Don't let him get Noah please"
"Rafael stay awake"
"WHERE"S THAT BUS, I'm losing him" Olivia shouted desperately then she heard a faint voice
"You-you're a - great moth-mother" Rafael choked out
"Hey stay with me, don't talk, reserve your strength" Olivia spoke barely coherent
"mhhm" was all she got as a response
She saw the paramedics rushing towards her, they picked Rafael up and wheeled him out, and Olivia ran after them.
"Ma'am are you riding in the ambulance with us, if you are we need to go now" a paramedic said
Olivia climbed and wrapped her hand around his. The paramedics cut away his expensive suit and clothing, to reveal the entry of the wound on his chest just to the left of his rib cage. They placed gauze and applied pressure. All of a sudden Olivia heard the heart wrenching sound of a continuous beep with no breaks in between, and her stomach dropped.
"Ma'am you need to step aside for a moment" the other paramedic said
The paramedic took the air pump respirator and by the time they arrived at the hospital he was wheeled into the emergency room and rushed into the operating room. As Olivia followed a nurse came up to her and pulled her aside.
"Ma'am you aren't permitted to go in there" the nurse said
"Please" Olivia said
"I'm sorry, I'll keep you posted on his condition" the nurse said reassuringly
Four hours have passed since Olivia has arrived to the hospital. Nick, Fin, Amanda, and Carisi arrived about a half hour after her.
"How is he?" Amanda asked
"I don't know" Olivia sighed with her face in her hands
"Hey Liv, this isn't your fault" Fin said pulling her head away from her hands
"Isn't it?" Olivia said
"Don't blame yourself" Amaro said chiming in
All of a sudden a doctor covered in bloody scrubs approached
"Family and friends of Rafael Barba?" the doctor asked
"That's us" Olivia stood up abruptly
"Well he's in critical condition and in the intensive care unit room 8, he's asleep. Mr. Barba is lucky. The bullet just missed his spleen and tore a few muscles; he's lost a lot of blood. So only one visitor at a time"
Olivia followed the doctor to his room and sat down in a chair next to the bed.
"Rafael, I'm so sorry" Olivia said and grabbed his hand and held it
He looked so unnaturally pale and vulnerable. About an hour later he began to stir. Olivia looked over and saw his eyes open and she couldn't have been happier seeing those emerald eyes open again.
"Liv" he spoke.